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If It Ain't Broke (Freedom)

We'll begin at the top:

send someone to the loft

to shed light on the dark and spooky;

to seek out the machines

that capture our dreams

and other instruments of cruelty.

Let's excise and expose

what lies under clothes

and strip the whole joint naked!

So that nothing's intact

let's be ruthless, in fact,

and if it ain't broke then break it!

 

Go dismantle the beds

where the uneasy heads

will no longer lie amending;

then eradicate

all that is straight

by inserting something bent in.

Bring out the wrecking ball!

It's unprofessional

and against all we ought hold sacred;

I want to take a knife

to this dying life

and if it ain't broke then break it!

 

Come, shatter the screens

that reflect on the scenes

where we spend our time in quarters;

and when the cops discover

we've killed Big Brother

then the camera won't have caught us!

We'll ransack the clinic

of all within it:

if it says Do Not Shake we'll shake it! 

Let's call time on the calm,

raise a general alarm

and if it ain't broke then break it!

 

Trade in these sedatives

for the drug that gives!

For the potions which disinhibit!

Spend the petty cash

on a superstore dash

through the zone marked wine and spirits.

When there's no money left

pursue petty theft,

whatever we want we'll take it!

If the weather's nice

we'll have drinks with ice

and if the ice ain't broken then break it!

 

Excavate the files

where the treason trials

were dramatised and documented.

Overwhelm the shredder

with each word and letter

that was wrung from the tormented.

Start the final fire,

build a funeral pyre

just as tall as we can make it.

To the flames consign

every Thou Shalt Not sign

and if it ain't broke then break it!

 

Let us run amok

before they stop the clock,

there's no points in good behaviour.

Let me be the man

who will fling the flan

in the face of this year's saviour.

As the days approach

that we fear most -

the cast into the snake-pit,

pause a while and reflect,

pay your last respects

then if it ain't broken break it!

freedom

◄ stairs talk poem to man

Holes ►

Comments

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Ray Miller

Thu 14th Oct 2010 22:29

Thank you very much, Janet, Dave and Lynn. To be honest, I didn't think it were that good, myself. But I'm prepared to take your word for it.I didn't know Meatloaf had a song of this title. I saw the phrase "If it ain't broke, break it" on someone's t-shirt years ago.

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Lynn Dye

Thu 14th Oct 2010 19:36

I love the anarchy of this too, Ray.
Actually, by coincidence, there is a song with this title by Meat Loaf (only the title the same, though obviously.)
Good one.

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Dave Carr

Thu 14th Oct 2010 18:09

Excellent Ray.
To me it has a Bob Dylan feel about it.
Dave

<Deleted User> (7164)

Thu 14th Oct 2010 15:01

Not been on here for some time but been reading occasional poems.
I just had to log in to comment on this. It is absolutely fabulous!
Funny, entertaining and extremely well written in my opinion. Well done. This is a winner for me :-)

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Ray Miller

Thu 14th Oct 2010 14:58

Isobel. I almost did call it Anarchy! But then I thought it might be giving anarchy a bad name.
If anyone knows a nice punk band they're welcome to this.Free, gratis and for nothing.

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Ray Miller

Thu 14th Oct 2010 14:51

Thanks all. I wrote this about 2 years ago as a kind of farewell to my nursing career. I like digging out old stuff and "improving" it.
Laura,Steve - a lot of my poems are really songs. If only I could sing.
Greg, do you really think so!
Cynthia, the tone is a bit impetuous, if not downright juvenile!Good song for a punk band.

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Isobel

Thu 14th Oct 2010 14:45

Tee hee - love it! I think we should call this one anarchy rather than freedom. It reminds me in some ways of that poem 'Let me die a young man's death' - the to hell with it mentality.

Up the revolution!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 14th Oct 2010 10:34

A very good read. As a performance piece it would require serious 'practice' to snap out the words clearly as well as quickly, since the ideas and allusions are many and varied but the tone is impetuous.

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Greg Freeman

Thu 14th Oct 2010 08:49

This is one of your best, Ray

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Andy N

Thu 14th Oct 2010 08:18

good to see you onboard, ray with this for the comp.. i'll offer my own thoughts after the comp but good luck, bud

<Deleted User> (7212)

Thu 14th Oct 2010 08:02

great poem Ray - there's a lot of neat touches in there.

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Laura Taylor

Wed 13th Oct 2010 16:05

Love the sentiments in this - I'm a big fan of breaking rules, plans, and other constraining nonsense! :D

As I read this, within a few lines, I was singing it to an Irish jig - you could easily make this a song

Cracking lilting rhymes - int it about time you wrote something I can't stand? It's getting embarrassing this.

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