I'm a 55 year old mum to five, grandmother to 8. I've always considered myself to be a painter, but very recently felt the urge to write, and that writing came out as poems. Up to now they are almost all based on my past, which was at times difficult. I find that writing about it helps greatly. I'm also autistic, and I think this goes some way to explaining the way that my mind works. I suspect I come from a long line of autistics. And now I've just reread my poems, I realise that I'm quite a bitter person at times, quite twisted, and probably not very nice at times. Although my children and grandkids would probably beg to differ. I've had time to think so I'm changing a few of my pics to more relevant paintings. The pictures that accompany my poems are all my own works.
I loved you once I think You swept me up in a cyclone of romance and fear Excitement and charm And control. A romantic threat across a crowded room On lined paper I love you, but if you ever shit on me I will break both your legs. You loved me! And I loved you for that. They say love makes you blind. And I was blind I could not read the flashing signs And I was deaf I did not hear the warning bells. You loved me so much You chose my clothes And styled my hair And I felt special. You moulded me into a woman. But bit by bit I disappeared The girl now long gone The smile now long gone The friends now long gone. Replaced by car crash bruises And broken bones And broken dreams. And as my world grew smaller My fears grew larger. I left you a thousand times But you always found me And I took my punishments on the chin, And on the arms, And on the legs, And wherever you could lay a punch or a kick. Then from nowhere I grew strong I carefully laid out my plans And hid them from you. Bruises became bricks And I built a wall So high you could not pass And then I was gone Never to return.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
The Blame Game. (27/09/2020)
Rotten Fruit (27/09/2020)
A poem about my lovely husband, Rick. (06/01/2020)
A poem for my late father, Bernard. (06/01/2020)
A Poem for my Late Mother (06/01/2020)
Poem for the Babysitter, Pete. (06/01/2020)
Poem for my late step-dad, Don the Cockroach. (06/01/2020)
A poem for my ex-husband (06/01/2020)
Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/jaingawne
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