I love artistry be it painting models making music or writing poems. I write when I can I paint when I can as I have mental illness. A lot of my poems reflect my darker days as I find it cathartic to get my feelings out and on to the computer screen or paper. My mum who writes poetry herself has made me feel confident enough to share some of these poems with you. I have made music for twenty odd years with my brother which has helped me develop a style of poetry that's my own I also love painting models. I just love creating whether it be in a light aspect or a darker moment. Hope you like my work!
A schizos view Life has many facets like refraction through a diamond. Not seeing one reflection but many each a little sliver of reality. Staring into each part of the gem gives a different angle. I wonder if each one contains the same reality, the same information or is it the same visual content but with a subtle twist, up, down, left, right, dark and light. If you could live through each visual echo would each path be walked differently? would the difference be minor or magnificently different. A changed life in each reflection I often wish I could walk multiple paths. Its how I see myself being able to cope successfully with my schizophrenia , my paranoia and my agoraphobia. The only possible way would be to walk many paths at once and see the outcome of each action made. So if my illness was prevailing and I was aware, I could see which path to walk by walking them all. True to life you can only walk one with each mistake affecting this life massively, often mistakes cannot be undone, words cannot be unsaid, footsteps cannot be erased. So I shut myself away and make small steps.... Tip toeing round my illness like shadows around a fire. If I let loose my demon inside, the monsters inside my head the thing that lies to me and gives me a false view of people and the world I live in. I fear the damage would be catastrophic. Bullied I feel joy then hope then nothing of note disappears and dwindles like a bar of soap starts off whole pretty and perfect then ends up eroded holed broken imperfect I start with an idea full of enthusiasm then the downhill run falls into a chasm didn't you know kid your destined to fail you have no momentum no wind in your sail STOP I scream I just want to succeed I don't have the education the tools that I need bullied and tormented my way out of school set up to burn like a fish running the spool a one way trip down this path called life a recipe of failure a schematic of strife I look at my tormentors with their perfect existence awarded for my torture while I live on a pittance I am angry and bitter trying to let go of my hate but I remember the joy they took in sealing my fate so now I live trying to undo my pain unscrambling the crossed wires these shorts in my brain if I make good on this horrible mess I may not die from my heart broken stress. A lesson in life My first impression is usually right I assess you , undress you read your every thought listen to what you say how you say it I wait for a blip for your demeanour to dip a Freudian slip Just one is enough a break in your armour a possibility for drama.... I walk away thankful for the insight.
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
The rift (12/08/2018)
Garden hopping (10/08/2018)
Mirrors eye (09/08/2018)
Leader of men (06/08/2018)
Demon demon (04/08/2018)
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