But sir, it wasn’t us, that’s so unfair!

We’ve only been in power for thirteen years,

It was those nasty Europeans, there,

Made of Britannia such a great pig’s ear.

It wasn't Hunt spelled with a C who wrote

That pamphlet saying “Kill the NHS”,

It was those forinners in small rubber boats,

That made the UK an omnishambolic mess.

Oh look at that, a dead cat in the street!

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Mis-Match of the Day,

Tories; Truth and Compassion.

Wife-beaters; Knighthoods.

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Out loud we write: “Let women speak!”

Out loud we say: “Enough’s enough,

Our mental health’s future is ever so bleak,

It isn’t the cough that’ll carry us off,

And it’s not being fat, ‘cos woke's banned that,

It’s the bloody claptrap in those re-written Puffins,

The truth we must speak: that bloke’s a bloke,

The Emperor’s in the bollocky buff,

He’s bollocky buff, w...

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Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Thanks are due to Siobhán of Bitesize Irish for the excellent videos on the pronunciation of Irish poetry etc. https://youtu.be/6RrjBERQzt4

My poem below is in Irish, in Celtic script. Below that, is the poem in Roman script and in English.

Apologies to native Irish speakers!

Scríobh amach os ard é,

Tá mé I ngrá le...

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The UK Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, is believe it or not, a barrister; yet she is proposing to break the law with her dog-whistle of a bill.

So she has been forced to make the following admission, under section 19(1)(b) of the Human Rights Act 1998:

“I am unable to make a statement that, in my view, the provisions of the Illegal Migration Bill are compatible with the Convention rig...

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It’s Þunresdæg today, of that god I’m enamoured,

I’m just like him, adult male, with an enormous great hammer,

But I’m only human, and British my manners,

So as it’s Frīġedæġ tommorrow, I’m going to get bladdered!

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POLICE FORCES SHOULD NOT BE ACTING ON BEHALF OF LOBBY GROUPS

--------------------------STOP HARASSING KELLIE JAY KEEN--------------------------------

Out loud we write: “Let women speak!”

Out loud we say: “Enough’s enough,

Our mental health’s future is ever so bleak,

It isn’t the cough that’ll carry us off,

And it’s not being fat, ‘cos woke's banned that,

It’s the bloody c...

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Out loud we write: “Let women speak!”

Out loud we say: “Enough’s enough,

Our mental health’s future is ever so bleak,

It isn’t the cough that’ll carry us off,

And it’s not being fat, ‘cos woke's banned that,

It’s the bloody claptrap in those re-written Puffins,

The truth we must speak: that bloke’s a bloke,

The Emperor’s in the bollocky buff,

He’s bollocky bu...

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First they came for freedom of speech, but I did not speak out

Because my sources told me what I wanted to hear, 

Then they came for the Poor, but I did not speak out 

Because I was not poor, 

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, but I did not speak out 

Because I was not a Trade Unionist, 

Then they came for the Socialists, but I did not speak out 

Becau...

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https://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=127856

There’s a flower, that’s for Remembrance;

Poppy of Hope in the rat-race gutter,

Some ego trip by town hall plastic patriots,

Aimed to set our hearts a-flutter,

Whilst sentimental platitudes they parrot;

It might as well be on the Brighton Line,

As into oblivion it’s daily smeared and ground,

By t...

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Imperceptibly,

Snowdrops nudging their way up.

Almost the New Moon.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The text I've used in my post is called Old English Script.

I used photoshop to produce the text and images.

The purpose of calligraphic art is not primarily legibility, but artistic expression.

I've imitated the traditional form of Japanese Haiku.

For example: https://en.wi...

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ONE DOWN 100s TO GO

Kick the lot of them out!

https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/james-obrien/callous-ignorance-tories-blame-financially-struggling/

The Tories all from under their stones,

The UK’s now corrupt to its bones,

New normal moral squalor,

As our poor face daily horror,

Human Rights? Brits are on their Jack Jones!

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I know that he’s lying,

He knows I know that he’s lying,

They know that he’s lying,

They know that I know that he’s lying,

They know that I know that they know that he’s lying,

I’ve not found any evidence that anyone is lying,

Because I’ve not looked for any evidence,

Why don’t I give a flying pig?

‘Cos this brown envelope’s big,

And he’s got that job at the Beeb.

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https://www.lbc.co.uk/radio/presenters/james-obrien/callous-ignorance-tories-blame-financially-struggling/

The Tories all from under their stones,

The UK’s now corrupt to its bones,

New normal moral squalor,

As our poor face daily horror,

Human Rights? Brits are on their Jack Jones!

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I watched a film called Green Book last night,

About a black classical pianist’s plight,

Featuring: good cops, and bad cops

And pompous balloons POPPED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Buon Natale, and the light of love’s might.

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I am what I am,

No, No, No, No, No!

I won't lie for you,

I am what I am,

Mother taught me well,

I am what I am,

"Do not lie", she said,

I am what I am,

I'm not what you want,

I am what I am,

I'm not what you think,

I am what I am,

Not what you impose,

I am what I am,

Not what you presume,

I am what I am,

I'm not what he wants,

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General Strike Now!

Mick Lynch + Eddie Dempsey = Absolute Stars! "For the Many, not the Few in the Cayman Isles"

The NHS-hating Tory hypocrites said “clap”;

Like the fool that I was, in the cold at our door,

I cheered and I whistled for the Tory claptrap,

While those partying scumbags sicked up booze on the floor,

Set emergency alarms off; and the Met Plod did ...

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She’s too white!

He’s too ginger!

She’s too rich!

He’s too rich!

She’s too black!

He’s too white!

She’s too slim!

He’s too fat!

She’s not white enough!

He’s not fair haired enough!

She’s not black enough!

He’s not auburn enough!

She’s not rich enough!

He’s not rich enough!

I’m not rich enough,

‘Cos I don’t write...

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The Fascists aren’t coming to burn books in the square,

That was then, in the war, it could never happen here,

The Fascists are coming to arrest mother and me,

Because once, as a child, I dared ask a big question,

The Fascists are coming to arrest my mum,

For telling me the facts of life,

The Fascists are coming, because they’ve heard a rumour,

That I asked of my mother “w...

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He was not crucified for me,

And not for him, nor her, nor thee,

That gentle Jesus meek and mild,

Once graced our world, unknowing child,

In manhood, he in wisdom grew,

Spoke for the many, not the few,

He chose to face injustice’s sword,

And hypocrites with his spoken word,

They, who place burdens on the poor,

Which they can not themselves endure,

Those misery-made cr...

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Just in case my last posting of this was misunderstood.

Two students who lived near Wallasey,

Were debating on logical fallacy.

He pulled out his red herring,

She said: “blimey, what’s that thing?”

He said: “this is my wonderful phallusy!”

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I'm not singing out of tune-It's the latest technique in solo singing; err, "serial sliding microtones".

Dia dhuit WOL! conas tá tú inniu?

Hello WOL! How are you today?

Is mise Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh, agus tá mé i mo chónaí i

contae Lancashire (Palatine!).

I’m Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh, and I live in Lancashire County Palatine.

Nollaig Shonah dhuit!

Happy  Christmas!

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The NHS-hating Tory hypocrites said “clap”;

Like the fool that I was, in the cold at our door,

I cheered and I whistled for the Tory claptrap,

While those partying scumbags sicked up booze on the floor,

Set emergency alarms off; and the Met Plod did nothing!

I couldn’t go to cuddle my new little granddaughter,

The young and the old went un-mourned in their coffins,

Now the...

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My dearest darling Jeremy Clarkson,

I love you too,

I love you on a “cellular” level,

On a brain-cellular level that is,

Not much to love, is there?

Unlike you, I don’t lie in bed at night “grinding my teeth”,

Because I have a healthy, vigorous sex life,

Well, I’ve got a life!

And I wouldn’t dream of having you “paraded naked” through the streets,

No,...

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I’m English; from Cambridge; adult male.

I’m ‘privileged’, ‘cos I’m blue-eyed and pale:

De facto a racist,

Homophobic, misogynist.

But I repent: now I’m African female!

So I’ve written my own dictionary,

In which race and sex arbitrary,

Mean I can bear twins,

Wear real leopard skins,

Whilst frolicking with unicorns and fairies.

I met the Red Queen a...

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Apologies to— Mary Howitt (1829)

1

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“Food banks” for the poor.

Nurses work in poverty.

“Food pantries” if posh.

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Poor little match girls.

Can you hear the people sing?

General strike now!

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Pointless complication edited out!

More tea, Vicar?

Or anyone fer coffee?

What, to Braintree?

Oh no, darling, I mean there were three

Of wee

And now there bee

Just two of wee

Thee on’ mee

I’ve counted wee

Ever so preciselee

Just mee on’ thee

Tee hee hee hee!

Ah t’wasn’t mee

My dear mumee

That must bee

Young Jimee

Our absentee

Out of his t...

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In 2005, Jeremy Hunt, as Health Secretary co-authored a policy pamphlet calling for the NHS

to be replaced by an insurance system.

On page 78 the pamphlet says that “our ambition” should be the de-nationalising of the  provision of healthcare in Britain.

The book was put together by Douglas Carswell, and its authors include Tory MPs Michael Gove

Daniel Hannan, Greg Clark, David Gauke, ...

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But sir, it wasn’t us, it’s so unfair,

We’ve only been in power for nigh twelve years,

It was our friend le Putain, over there,

Made of the NHS such great pig’s ears.

It wasn’t Hunt spelled with a C who wrote

That pamphlet saying “Kill the NHS”,

It’s old gits, and those refugees afloat,

It’s them that’s got the UK in distress.

Oh look at that, a dead cat in th...

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Hoo favvers a bulldog chewin' a wasp,

Contempt a-dribblin' deawn er chin,

Contempt fer't folk in her eyes, dross,

Hoo sez don't use the word "catastrophe",

If tha's just lost thi heauwse, thi job,

If tha caun't pay t' leccy bill,

Caun't feed the kids, cos o' Tory banditry.

Scum o' the Earth, thiv 'ad their fill,

On' neaw they'll shit on't lot o' thi.

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Nearly bloody well threw up,

Today in bloody M&S,

Sick of bloody bull-shit,

Bloody “Winter Wishes” dishes!

Jesus Christ, enough already,

This is bloody Britain mate!

We’re celebrating bloody Christmas,

Not “Winter bloody Festival”,

Not “Winter bloody Holiday”,

This ain’t the bloody USA,

It’s bloody-well the UK,

Shove your bloody “Winter” bollocks,

Where the bloo...

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All my own work (being an ex altar-boy an' all that!)

O come, O come, Emmanuelle,

My favourite barmaid pulls it very well,

But I will mourn at home in exile here,

Until free beer tomorrow does appear,

Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuelle,

Will pour free beer tomorrow-yeah like hell!

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In our Lancashire home, in our Lancashire home,
We speak with a Lanky Twang ever so rare,
We’ve got some wet moorlands exceedingly bare,
If you want a few Mountains, we've got some to spare,
In our Lancashire home.

En Vrolijk Kerstmis!

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The following is my response to Red Button's recent post: https://sharkfishinginwales.blogspot.com/2022/10/bemoaning-state-of-high-street.html

Britain’s been given

An Anti-Social-ist Behaviour Dis-Order,

The Tories flaunt it,

Like a naughty teen.

Britain’s ill, but can’t get treament,

Because of the cuts,

So the cuts on her wrists,

Are growing in number,

I’ve grown acc...

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We’ll drink a drink a drink,

To an empire pink so pink,

The saviours of the human race.

The truth we speak is ever so profound,

We speak the truth in every case.

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Bit of a cockup in original posting -here goes!

Their Favourite Things

Teardops they’re shedding; with lies they’ve been smitten,

“Bright sunlit uplands” still promised for Britons,

Brown paper packages, no attached strings,

Those are a few of their favourite things.

When reality bites, when the truth stings,
When they’re feeling sad,
They’ll simply remember their fa...

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An ghaoth aduaidh bíonn sí crua,

Is cuireann sí gruaim ar dhaoine,

An ghaoth aneas bíonn sí tais,

Is cuireann sí rath ar shíolta,

An ghaoth anoir bíonn sí tirim,

Is cuireann sí sioc istoíche,

An ghaoth aniar bíonn sí fial,

Is cuireann sí iasc i líonta.

The north wind is hard,

And it depresses people,

The south wind is damp,

And...

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This poppy was recently made for me as an impromptu gift, by a young lady who had been researching her family tree, and had found that a male relative had served in the RAF in WW2. I will always treasure it.

I wrote the following probably ten years ago.

On Armistice Day, (which, by now, all should know,

Marks the end of World War Number One),

I remembered Them, as I sat...

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Autumn leaves, skipping

Up the old apples and pears

To her wintry rest.

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The Irish is in Celtic script and the English is in Old English text.

Some of my earliest and abiding memories are of the Irish accents and Irish names of pupils and teachers at school and at church.

Having learned French and Spanish on retirement, a great excuse for backpacking holidays, I gained an interest in language and in how it works.

Th...

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There was a young lady from Woking,

Wooed a fellow with amorous provoking.

But that gammon called Rowley,

Made his Brexit too slowly,

Now that lady from Woking is bloating.

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Sangita Myska, for your courage and compassion, I thank you,

Dog-whistled by client “journalists” in hock to money’s might, they cower

In ignorance and fear, the bigot spitting on what’s good and true.

I wept with you as valiantly you battled, speaking truth to power.

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The audio file in this post is of SAMPLES 1-7 in my profile-apologies for repeats cockup.

This  below, was my first and only attempt (so far) at a Sestina, from about ten years ago?

I think it reflects:

1. the trepidation I felt at the thought of one of my 3 months-long walking trips and

2. the effort expended in the journey of trying to write this bloody thing!

PILGRIM P...

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I’ve tried writin powums in spanish,

Mi spelin means they’re a bit moorish,

Am back to mi roots,

The rools don’t get twoots,

Now I’m writin mi ditties in liquorish.

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ADULT HUMAN FEMALES BETRAYED

E’s getten a Masters in Bullshiteree,

Peer-reviewed by pillocks who agree,

Uz t' moon’s med o’ cheese,

Uz black’s white, ‘ell’ll freeze,

Now scumbags‘r getten off scot free!

Thi honour, Q.C., D.P.P.,

Ar t’ ignorant, or incompetent, thee?

Tha cowardice crass,

Meks o’ justice an arse,

When tha durstn’t define “woman” fer me!

---...

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