In a desperate effort to outdo the racist bigots who, we are led to believe, currently threaten his ratings, PM Kier Starmer has carried out an egregious attack on the freedom of speech of UK citizens, and an overt incitement to racial abuse.

In doing so, he has displayed an astonishing ignorance of the diversity of languages currently spoken by natives of the British Isles: Cymraeg (Welsh); Kernowek (Cornish); Manx Gaelic; Scottish Gàidhlig; Lowland Scots; the many varieties of Gaeilge (Irish) on the island of Ireland, which includes Gaeilge Uladh (Ulster Irish).

We in these parts have a name for that attitude: “Pig Ignorant”!

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yon sun ‘as gor it’s 'at on,

‘ip ‘ip ‘ip ‘ooray,

on’ aw’m beawnt pu’ mi ‘at on too,

fer aw’m off out ter play;

kernalside strollin’s wor aw like,

ert th’end, a bus ter town;

aw ‘opes them langwidge cops aren’t theer,

‘cos aw’ll be torkin’ Lanky Twang,

o’er a beer, in t’ Rose n’ Crown;

aw’ll not bi speykin’ Starmerite,

‘cos a Lanky Lad, I am;

yon mon, he torks a pile o’ shite,

on’ cooks up porky pies;

it’s Lanky wot thi tork reawnd ‘ere,

if tha dunnot leyk it, bugger off,

goo sling thi bloody ‘ook,

tha maun shove yer inglish up yer bum,

weer never shines yon currant bun.

Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh 15th May 2025

English Translation

The sun has got it’s hat on,

Hip, Hip, Hip hooray,

And I’m going to put my hat on too,

Because I’m going out to play;

Canalside strolling is what I like,

At the end, a bus to town;

I hope the Language Police aren’t there,

because I’ll be speaking in Lancashire dialect,

over a beer in the Rose and Crown;

I’ll not be speaking in Stamerite,

because I am a Lancashire Lad;

that man speaks a pile of shite,

and he concocts blatant lies;

they speak Lancashire Dialect around here,

if you that offends you, go away,

sling your bloody hook,

you can stow your English in your derrière,

from whence never shines the sun.