Poetry Blog by Nick (2019)
on Suicidal OCD. (Sat, 2 Nov 2019 01:09 pm)
Is sobriety killing my creativity?
Or is it better off this way?
It's hard to find some comfort in this
When all I know is pain
I couldn't go on much longer
With the way I was feeling inside
But who am I now that I'm sober?
Loss of identity will reside
Let me feel the lines of your hands
From your finger tips on down
I don't know how to fix me
But your skin is safe and sound
Thursday 21st November 2019 8:22 pm
Have you ever thought of ending it all?
Facing your fear when your backs to the wall?
Crossing the bridge and paying the toll?
Nobody know's the feeling better then me
I fantasize while in bed, rest assured I can't sleep
Knowing it's me I fear murdering me
Drowning my face in my own reflection
Disconnecting myself from other's connection
Removing my head from self-loathing dejection
Saturday 2nd November 2019 12:40 am
I'm sorry for inviting myself I just wanted to spend more time with you
And if I'm in your way I'll stand in the corner and wait for you
Now I'm sorry to be a bother but do you think I can have some water
To wash away my insecurities but I know you'll give them back to me
I don't know what you want from me but I just want your company
Find what you're looking for and take it all from me
Wednesday 21st August 2019 1:45 pm
Maybe the truth is I was never really meant to be happy.
Not in the sincerest form of the word anyway.
I'm content and I do have my happy moments.
But sincerely and truly happy?
I don't think that word was invented with me in mind.
Friday 9th August 2019 12:53 pm
Do you still think about me?
Am I one of your painful memories?
Do I cross your mind when you're all alone and trying to sleep?
I can say that all is the truth for me
I'm just a grain of sand and you are the sea.
You wrap around my brain until I can't fucking breathe.
Do you remember trying not to cry?
The day we finally said goodbye.
Feeling like we're alone but surrounded by a hundred ey...
Monday 8th July 2019 2:12 pm
I'm searching for a genie at the bottom of every bottle.
But three wishes will only last a little while.
So I'll just sit and sip on my own sorrow,
But you know I'm still going to try again tomorrow.
I'm searching for some rhyme or reason,
Why I'm still here in this mental prison.
Maybe so I'm forced into self-reflection.
But you know I'm stuck in this misdirection.
I'm searching for a mou...
Friday 21st June 2019 4:54 pm
I wish the abyss would stop looking back at me.
I look in the mirror and I swear that's all I see.
Not a monster but a void I cant escape.
I was born with a heart but it seems mishaped.
Someday I swear I'm going to leave this place.
Find my way to the light that people praise.
But for now I think it's better if I hang my head.
Bite my tongue and drink until I just forget.
I don't know how ...
Saturday 18th May 2019 7:49 am
Scars show where you've been, not where you're going
Death is the only god that answers when you're calling
Time keeps moving forward there is no slowing
Will you miss me when I'm gone or while I'm going?
Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you
I should have never trusted you not to
Please don't do that thing that you do
You bat your eyes, fake a smile so I forgive you
I trace my...
Monday 25th February 2019 6:46 am
I don't think you understand the the severity of my depression.
If you did you'd know it justifies my smoking sessions.
I don't do it to get "lit" or to have a good fucking time,
I do it cause I can't sleep unless I'm really fucking high.
My brain it eats at me and won't let me breathe.
The destruction and misery that's inside of me.
It keeps me awake and when they ask I just fake
a smile u...
Sunday 20th January 2019 6:02 am
Sometimes I over drink.
Oops I mean overthink.
Ah fuck it, it's the same damn thing.
I over pour my glass leaving no room for coke.
The voice repeating in my head of the last words you spoke.
You ask why I'm self destructive but the truth is I dont know.
I'm starting to think that the devil is a lie.
The only evil we see is what we bury inside.
I'm going to lose to myself, it's only a matt...
Sunday 20th January 2019 12:47 am
I know you're hurting baby and feel like giving up.
You're building walls now baby but I'll climb on top.
I'll break them down now baby and lift you up.
You don't have to do this alone now baby, we'll partner up.
Don't think you feel too much now baby, I know it's tough.
I see your flame is dimming baby, I'll light you up.
You must be exhausted baby, you've fought enough.
I'll fight your ba...
Monday 7th January 2019 2:37 pm
The sun sets around this dirty glass.
Just a few more hours until I become someone new and forget who I was.
Im waiting for the fireworks but they'll surely never come.
There's no celebration for killing the demon that's been killing everyone.
You think a simple crucifix could fix this.
I don't think I can send my monster back to hell.
I've killed my insides I'm nothing more then a shell o...
Wednesday 2nd January 2019 5:39 am