This abusive relationship
Was never supposed to take a life
When it's all you think you deserve
A death wish can seemed like love

I believe you that no one understands
Societies can never true love
The road was traveled just abandoned 
By the fuckers that gave it a promise
Leaving wasn't an option

We're all looking for a home with a nameless face
The person that loves us the most is ...

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I was broken and bleeding 
I still never gave up
So tell me what's next
After every word I said about him
Has come out to be the truth

When I tell you I won't be here after September
Do you denied them words to?
I know that I'm not enough
It's a feeling that swallowed me whole

When a memory will you understand I loved you
Because the damage to my heart isn't going to be fixed
I thin...

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I'm not going to make it to Twenty-seven
I'm too busy trying to make it to Heaven
Oh shit I forgot suicide makes you go to hell
That's better than suffering everyday
I rather die than live a lie

I'll start cutting again 
If you won't judge me
I told her that should be the death of me
I was not lying

Love is so messed up 
That you'll start drugs too forget 
Just for you to end up 
W...

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You left everything burning
But the love you couldn't cling to
So this is separation anxiety 
Pushing down your tongue

I was so sick I thought you could love
Locked myself back up in my room
For you could never see me again
So on this anniversary 

I found out firefly 
Your ways are so unkindly
My heart was the casualty to your escape

So fuck your attention they were only for greed

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If home is where the heart
Then I haven't been home in a long time
So tell me I'm wrong 
I'll tell you this sad sappy story

Of this boy that loved a girl
That he wasted his whole fucking life
Only live to see 26 because his heart strings broken
So tell me that's not love
I'll tell you that you're full of shit

She gave a promise that she would marry him
She found a boy that could trea...

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So I don't know who I am anymore
I know I'm far from happy
I know I think about killing myself
That wouldn't fix it 
The pain would just seep into other people

So do I let the pain hold me hostage
I used to think that self mutilation would help
For a bit I was clear

There's no Heaven there's no hell
There's just me thinking to myself
If I stop breathing would it fix my problem
The o...

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This is the story about Mr Man Whore
With a fiance at home
He fucks another girl from work
what a douchebag right
 
What are lowlife 
Who want to fuck them all 
What are lowlife 
Who want to fuck them all 
Fuck them all!

What another douchebag
To add to the population
(We don't want him at all!)
I would sell my soul to get her out of the situation
She's addicted to bad boys and I'm...

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I never feel anything in this world
Suicidal mused of how over whale I am
So take this meat suit off
Tell me how crumbly I am
Maybe then she would have stayed 
Just cute without the e so just to mention it
Fuck E he told me he was a straight G 
But that was a Lego without the L 

When he couldn't keep his word 
This is a reminder how his best friend 
Wants to fuck every girl he gets wit...

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I just met the most perfect girl
So I'm going to push her away
Before I can ruin her life
Please hate me at the end

The alcohol speaks louder than you
Scream at me and tell me I need help
I'm fine choking on the alcohol now

So dose this acid rain hurt? 
I'm acid tripping.

Please don't come around
If I'm on the ground
Cutting at the skin until it bleed
I know this isn't what I nee...

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Put a bullet in my brain
My life's a hurricane
I don't think there's a coming back
Slow dancing into the coffin

I don't want to feel like this forever
If I have to, I will
Cover me in 6 ft of dirt and leave me to rot
I miss when I was your everything
You got me all confused 
I don't want to die

Keep me in your arms
Bury me in my favorite skinny jeans
I've been an unwritten dream la...

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I've been trying to more on 
But it's all you in my dreams
So what the fuck am I living for
I don't see the point of living without you

I might be a little drunk 
You're the memory that makes me 
Say one more shot I'll be blacked out soon
So what the fuck am I living for
I don't see the point of living without you

I thought you all said I'd be numb by now
The lack of her in my hands ...

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The worst thing I can say
Is I hate walking by your house
I have to go by there to go anywhere
So ripped my heart out
You're the reason I'll never find love

I'm so sorry for blaming you
I clearly still love you
So it has to be you
So tell me to go fuck off
Like every word isn't already stuck in my head

I guess I'll let another person down
Realized I still wasn't over you
So Miss Ca...

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Just take my heart out 
Leave it on your fucking kitchen table
So leave Kentucky today 
I'll leave my gun under the pillow
I won't make you sorry that you loved me

Smoke good kush 
Get money
These actions never led me back to you

I'm a fuckboy but I never hurt you in any way
I self-harmed again
You fucked my best friend again
You only talk to me when you're bored
So hide all my fee...

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A pack a day, I hope way.

A stop sign a quarter of a mile away.

But still the rain doesn't come today.

So I can pray for her way here.

But that day will never come.

For a broken man is only shattered away.

For the day he lost her will always remain.

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She says that she needs a daddy 
But I'm more of a baller
She's calling for an SS emergency
But I've been calling for a SS Anne
I can't build no Castle 
I'm just a lonely bastard
so cut me off a little faster

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My interior is kind of crappy
I would fix the brain but I'm off my hinges
Don't believe the terrible sight
The wind only blows when I miss you
So does your cigarette smoke blow to me

Please don't 
Please don't dissipate 
Please don't dissipate into
Because I've been feeling kind of low

How far do I have to go until I find the old you
Because this new you has a material hold
On this ...

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The killer was the memories for those stain the skin a permanent red

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He loved her more than any soul could
She mustered out that he was too nice for her
So he became a bad boy
By the time it was too late she already had a child
So we took off all the fake drawer in everything
Looked in the mirror and told himself that he would wait here
Even when all his friends thought he was crazy
He stay true to what he believed in
He loved her even when he couldn't love...

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 He'll check his life away wishing that he could hold her hand one more time for the ending was always dyer.

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A cynical smile, what a loaded question
Could you please not be this way
You're giving me reasons to write again

So break my bones
Leave me all alone
A portrait of a family but it only has me
So could you remember this
What a loaded question

I broke the skin
The blood started, bubbling up
So could you tell me this is an answer
What do you want from me now
Because I'm giving up

I...

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I'd rather die then these be true
Than let the blight in my mind 
Leave me dry like a lie
So remember me not it's fine
I've always been a true believer
Don't burn yourself the lights still never shine

I'm just the devil's regret
That he can't take back
The closer I get to god life make sense
I can't let go of that it's a hope 

So do you think the sinner 
Could sit on the sun
Withou...

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I miss before I was numb
Now there's just a body of blood
In a rainstorm that's washing that away
To remind myself on the absence of life
So cut the center and fill it with your desire
I'll always be fucking empty
I was beaten into bloom
All the petals gave to the Firefly
Just to watch her use them to open up
It wasn't me it was the snake in the garden
Something about the glimmer in his ...

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We're all just shells living hollow
So bleed yourself dry from innocence 
Like the cynical bastard that once had a laugh
The worst part is the damage never left a bruise
Stop playing victim card
When you were all victims in the game of life

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Can you tell me who I am? 
I'm falling apart in this shattered world

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The kingdom was on fire but angels was throwing gasoline on it

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All I wanted was a family to call my own
Now I see that will never be
This forever emptiness will always drift
I would give anything but I already gave it
For after all the soul is home
I sold my home for she can be eternally happy
For her happiness means more to me then mine
Because of this I will be forever and always alone

I will never have my happy ending 

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The flickering lights don't tell the whole story
So keep yourself alive by drowning
We all see by your lies 

If my lips spoke truth 
We'er all be in trouble
I'll leave the whole world on fire
I don't care

So do you feel the pain
I'm the fucking disease now
Did I twist all your words into love?
Did my bellowing for help
Sound delightful to you?

I'm intoxicated with the thought of ...

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I've been filling vacant lately
Why am I even trying
No one cares about me anyway
It's been years, with a memory still there
I've been learning how to tie a nooses lately
It's getting scary in my brain
I don't care about anyone's feelings
I just want the pain to end
Writing about it used to make me feel better
Now the feeling is always there
Life's not fair my friends
I didn't even get ...

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A cup of brandy everyday
Just to drown the feeling into numbness
So could everyone tell the truth 
Stop lying about your emotions 
For that way I'm not the only one overreacting

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I've been up all nigh with Baphomet
Tobi been me for a bit now
So come and let's see the bleeding
Shit won't be the same after tonight
I can't be me anymore 

The soul is too damaged
So let's cut the sickness out
Shit won't be the same

Weed and pills to fix the nightmares
Oh if I keep this up I'll end up in the ground
Fire looks so inviting without a mind 
Girl let's kill the sicknes...

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I relapsed I'm sorry.

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I always kissed her like she was poetry.

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Watch the simple words slip out
I won't be here for next year
So please understand 
Loving you comes easy for me 
I blame it on your personality
Everyone says you'er manipulate me
I think I've been playing dumb for far too long
Everyone thinks I really am 
It's better this way
For the minute I show Intelligence
This facade would bust
The time would be gone 
Love is why I play dumb 

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I can write another poem about her but it would never break her back after all she only talks to me when things are truly bad for I can mend wounds back just to do it all over again it doesn't bother her but it's slowly fucking killing me because all I want to do is lay beside her and call her mine again but that won't happen I'm just a loser in her eyes that loves her with all my heart but that's...

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I was there under the streetlights
Burning into a new affinity
Could you fill my holes where the blood stain?

You're just a show town girl 
That I fall in love with
But you was more then that in my eyes

I never meant anything to you
You just feel pity for me
So here I'm burning into affinity
Without you by myself 

Love please forgive me for this
I've lost my ability to articulate
...

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I was looking for no remedy 
Burning into the silver lining
I trying being my old self but you still remain 
I just want to be the best me I can be 
I feeling like there's a stranger in my skin
It's been this way for too long 

So hold on to fading memory of me 
One day your understand 
I can't be anyone without you 

When the wind blows it feels so hollow 
That time can't be right 
I...

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I know it's late and I really shouldn't be up right now but I keep hearing voices downstairs (Three heads that we can see. Forever is only a second in the mad ones eyes.) I'm learning my imagination take over again. This house is truly getting to me. The last 3 days the cabin doors have been wideopen. 

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The lighthouse I am the ocean I am not,  the way that no one can know I am only who I am but what I am is what I can love. So do not give up there it's always the lighthouse waiting for your arrival. So say that we are different people but I would never have it another way for true love has to brew, like a well stained wine on the finders of white t-shirts both of us meant to have different lives ...

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3 years and nothing has changed
I'm still working my ass off to make a better life for her
Even if she picked him over me

I already know that you're with him tonight
So fuck it all I'm getting drunk tonight
I got 80 proof in my bloodstream
You got nothing but bad timing
Why is it that I always have heartache
When you're not here beside me

I promised you that I would give you everythin...

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 I know this isn't what I normally post here. My grandma just gave me a house in the middle of nowhere. It was my grandmother's but she's going to nursing home. I have to say the weird things my grandma was perfectly Healthy before she moved in this place 6 months ago my grandma told me to sell the house and never to move in. The issue is I have nowhere to go I just lost my apartment so it's a mir...

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How dare you tell me where you live
How dare you live so close
When you kill me everyday
Living without you is the fucking worst
Call me stupid call me obsessed call me whatever you want
But you keep fucking with my head
I rather die than live without you
All I want is you close to me
Stop thinking it's okay to just talk to me when you miss me
But you won't say a word to me when I need yo...

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Told her I loved her it wasn't good enough
Put a rope around my neck
My friend kick the chair for me
Was that too much to ask for you all?

You're all sick but not sick enough
I'm sorry I gave my heart away
I gave my soul to the devil
I guess it was already his

The lower I get the better the art is
I think my heartbreak owes me a dollar
So give me a razor blade
I'll relapse in beauti...

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Oh little boy how obsessed with a little lights you were
Glowing little bugs keeping you from the edge
Oh what their princess the most beautiful lights you've seen
Now they're all gone and you're on the edge of suicide
No remedy for the mind
No amount of blood could poor to make you feel pain
I guess the melancholy got you
I guess the summer hits you like a truck
The emotions make you feel...

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I'm choking on my own blood
As you tell him you love him
You could cut the tension with a spoon
This isn't fair 

So quote all your favorite songs
I'll think of something clever to say
I've never been single this long
I've never not self harm
I'm going 7 months strong
I don't think the lessons are learned

I miss the taste of you 
You've already forgotten me
What a bitter way to die
...

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I don't like waking up 
Since you have been gone 
I haven't been okay 
It's like all the time is gone 
You'er happy now and I'm drinking alone 
Fuck I hate myself 
I love the parts of you that everyone hated
You let him kill it off
Without letting it become something beautiful
I promise that always love you
I know that 25 is another year without you
By 26 I won't be here so it's okay 
...

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All of the time is flying by 
I fucking hate myself 
I can't tell you the truth 
It would only hurt you 
I've been abused so many times
I can confuse it for love
I told myself you were the only one
Just to break my own heart over and over
The cuts added up
Then it's scabbed up
Then they all scarred up
Now they remind me of how I fucked up
I could have got lost in your arms in the holdu...

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I've been trying hard not to talk to you
that way we both can move on
I've been trying hard not to call you beautiful
That way I don't tell you goodnight
I sold my soul for you can always be happy
Why do you think I'm dying little lady
The devil has a price it's my life

Don't make me go to Pizza Hut just to start shit with him
I've been feeling like Tobi lately
I think I'm better off in...

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This conversation needs to end
I'm so sick to my stomach
My bones keep locking up
My back feels like I'm carrying the world
Everything hurts and it just seems like I can't stop the pain

Emotionally I'm just broken
So give me a lecture of how I should be happy
Just for I can break down and cry
My mind tells me I'm better off dead
Nervous breakdowns are my new best friend
And choking on ...

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I really don't want to live
Lost in my head again
Want to go out like my name is Van Gogh
Do you understand it yeah

Put some distance between me and her
Maybe she would miss me enough to come back
The thought of her is killing me
I took more medicine but it's still hurts

It doesn't matter what I do
Self destruction is always the easier way
You can hate me all you want but it's
It's ...

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I wish I was more than this
The nothingness that never leaves 
The background noise that no one listens to
The one that never fit in the friend group
The one that will never be the first choice
The miserable bastard that's all I am
The truth is I wish I was dead

Everyone I've ever cared for is in a better place now
Slowly forgetting about me
I don't blame them on that alarm that doesn't...

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