The Last Words My Granny Said To Me

It’s with regret that I think about Granny

And the kind words that were left unsaid

And the ways that I wished, that I’d made my last peace

But I’ve missed my last chance now she’s dead

If I could re-run our last conversation

I’m sure that I wun’t have provoked

I wish I’d have seen her, just one more last time

Bef...

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The Day That Our Dad Came Home Sober

The day that our Dad came home sober

The dog barked as he came through the door

Cos our Killer was no good with strangers

Or people he’d not met before

Our Dad, not drunk, - didn’t seem like our Dad

He’d lost that gormless grin

And his eyes didn’t have that glazed-over look

So it just didn’t look like him

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Albert Edward Burrows   by KJ Walker

With iron grey ‘tache

And eyes of steel

Attractive to women

Sex appeal

A massive frame

Chiselled and bold

A liking for young ‘uns

Although he was old

Police were in fear of

This man so strong

Though they saved him that day

From the baying throng

He’d married a local

A fair maid called Hannah

She was much yo...

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I Don’t Wanna Play That Game

Dutch ovens after mushy peas

Beneath the Sword of Damocles

Pox roulette with STD’s

I don’t wanna play that game

The way you try to tempt and tease

Then crush my bones between your knees

And cackle at my whimpering pleas

I don’t wanna play that game

Pocket billiards just seems tame

Rack ‘em up to start the frame

...

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I’m a Celebrity Haiku

Noel to quit showbiz

If crowned king of the jungle

Now that gets my vote

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The Alcoholic Benefactor

Philip liked a drink

Not many sessions were missed

He always paid into the charity box

He’s a philanthropisartist 

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Cutting the Line 

I thought I was underprivileged

Till Dad took me to Billy and Peg’s

Where I came face to face with such desperate folk

Society’s unwanted dregs

Irish Billy and Peg ran a flophouse

Where poor souls paid a bob for the night

To kip, on a length of clothesline

From one wall to t’other pulled tight

The Last Chance Saloon, in the centre of Town

W...

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The Bricky Pond

The Bricky Pond

An urban beauty spot

Chalkhill Blue butterflies

It’s the only place I’d ever seen them

Hay jumps

Risking life and limb for two seconds of mid-air excitement

Summersaults and soft landings

Ducks-and-drakes

Thirteen kisses on the glasslike surface

Sticklebacks and frogspawn

I saw a grass snake once

The water...

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A Flight of Fancy

Imagine to be an aviator

To leave terra-firma and fly

To unlock the shackles of gravity

Be weightless, and reach for the sky

John and Macko were only thirteen

So how could they dream such a thing?

Two working-class lads, from Grimstone Low

With ambitions to take to the wing

They were both academically average

And failing at school, it ...

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The Girl With Murderous Intent

The good folk of Grimstone never locked their doors

Nobody had owt worth nicking

And when the bailiff paid a visit

He left, with no spoils, from his picking

So doors were always left ajar

No one bothered to sneck their lock

Friends and neighbours walked straight in

Without being mithered to knock

Betty Hogg wa...

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