I don't know how to reach you

my darling

as you suffer & self-destruct

-- & so I turn to prayer.

I can't re-arrange this

I can't soften this

I can't solve this

--& so I turn to prayer.

How do I pray my darling?

Waves & waves of love,

waves & waves of forgiveness,

waves & waves of hope.

Oh may these waves reach you

my darling

& wash over you

with blessin...

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Do you want to meet an angel?

Close your eyes & invite one in, it's that simple.

Sometimes angels fly in on a breeze through an open window,

sometimes they dance under dew drops in an early morning garden,

other times they jump from cloud to puffy cloud & laugh when you look up at them.

But do you see them?

Close your eyes & invite one in,

they are waiting on the wings of your...

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No more rescue mode

No more fix-it mode

Just being present,

Surrendering,

Not in defeat,

But rather--

opening

accepting

hopeful

helpful

With self-love

& other-love

In peaceful balance

I am here

Here is my hand

I am not here

You must let me go

But you are not alone

No my darling

Legions of angels

Await your beckoning.

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Be like water

Soft

Strong

Clear

Moving with the tides

Still lake

Be like water

Rippling

Resting

Welcoming

The child gliding the stone

Concentric skipping circles

No beginning no end

Just flow.

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Pray for wisdom

Pray for patience

When to act

When to wait

Reminder--

All things heal

In their own time

Sometimes it takes years

Sometimes it takes lifetimes

Sometimes--

A brilliant spark

A brilliant moment.

Pray for patience

Pray for wisdom

Divine healing

Divine timing

Divine divine divine.

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I keep my grandmother's rosary

under my pillow

so when bad things happen,

sad phone calls late at night,

sad dreams through the night,

I hold it in my hand 

nestled under the pillow,

safe & warm,

dark black beads

cool to the touch,

Jesus on the cross

suffering,

little silver plate with Mother Mary image,

10 beads five times,

with 3 beads in between,

Fat...

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What is the perfect balance 

between being and doing?

Closing my eyes

looking inside

letting the world settle

around me,

opening my eyes

looking outside

letting the world twirl around me,

the perfect balance,

following the breath,

deeply in,

deeply out,

a gentle smile,

a willingness to change,

sit & rise,

rise & sit,

like night follows day

& da...

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He is 2 years old

& wants to make you laugh,

it is clear

that is his favorite pass time.

He lifts the little plastic tub

holding the crayons 

& dumps the crayons 

willy-nilly on the table

& puts the little tub on his head

& walks around smiling & laughing & looking at all the giants (grown-ups)

as if to say--

why are you talking so much,

let's laugh & laugh,

...

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Rising to start the day,

I enter into a dream-like state,

my mind rides on a cloud,

my feet walk on air,

the light is soft,

the space between my breaths

is the deepest quiet.

Oh to carry this peace with me 

no matter what comes 

is worth all the gold

in the mountains!

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Live in the light

Bathe in the light

Become the light

We come from the stars

We are made up of a matrix of light

Move into the light

Sway with the light

Sit in the light

Gentle eyes

Gentle words

Life can be light

When we live in the light.

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She set me free

when she came to me

& proclaimed:

I am not a victim,

victimized, yes,

she explained,

but the power & force of her soul

transformed all--

healing 

& resurrection

& freedom,

she was not buried

in the ashes of her sorrows,

she was vibrant & whole & luminous beyond description.

I bathed in her light,

wept with joy, 

& rose to slay my own ...

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I have been incarnated in human form

on this planet for 3 score & 7 years,

& finally, finally, 

I am becoming more adept

at shifting.

Shifting one's mood,

shifting one's thoughts,

shifting one's emotions,

shifting one's consciousness,

is a very handy skill indeed.

The more you practice it, 

the easier it gets.

Sadness descends,

change gears--

tune into the...

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Alas, I cannot carry a tune worth beans,

but oh how I love to sing!

If I could sing with oratorical melody,

I would foresake the spoken word altogether

& simply sing all the day long.

Singing stirs up the air!

Singing makes my soul dance!

Truly, singing carries me away to transcendent joy.

Papa once arrived home when I was a teen,

heard me singing loudly while cleaning h...

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I want to be the happiest person on earth.

I want everyone else to be the happiest person on earth too.

Happiness is such an incredible gift.

It is gold wrapped in an old cardboard box,

tied shut with coarse twine,

& pushed under a bed where it gathers dust & is forgotten.

The days roll by,

the years pass,

happiness is lost

amidst all the turmoil & troubles of being aliv...

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Air coming through the window tickling my skin is so delightful,

it is as if the earth is sending me its breath to soothe my weary soul.

I close my eyes in rest & smile at this thing called life,

here I am--

a solitary, temporary being,

cocooned in love.

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Love fully, but don't cling.

When fear of loss strikes at your heart,

turn to the comfort of the eternal soul.

Remember none of this lasts forever--

we all arrive & we all leave.

Embrace with joyful exuberance those you love,

hold them in your heart,

dwell with them in their souls,

in this,

we find peace.

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Smiling, smiling, smiling,

I can't stop smiling.

Why?

Because I am happy.

Frowning, frowning, frowning,

I can't stop frowning.

Why?

Because I am sad.

Back & forth we go,

rowing down the river of life.

How grateful I am to have this little boat that is your sweet,

sweet love.

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Houses are a marvelous invention.

They have windows that open to the outside,

just like eyes,

you can open them to see what's going on.

I like to nap by an open window with the shades drawn.

I invite the world into my quiet space,

all the sounds alight with a soft greeting--

birds squawking & chirping,

cars rolling by,

dogs talking their barks to each other, 

construc...

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If you always want

exactly what is

unfolding before you,

you will live in bliss.

If your desires

match this moment's reality,

you will smile all the day long.

Is this what it is like

to live intentionally

as a happy person?

But what if "what is" is horrible?

Look deeply & ask--

is there something beautiful here?

Viktor Frankl writes of a young woman lying in ...

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I want to be grounded

like a child rolling 

down a grassy hill

with abandon.

I remember doing that

when mom would pile us in the car & take us to a far-away park.

I want to be joyous 

like the parrots singing

their chatter from the high-up palm trees.

I remember feeling that 

when we would run the neighborhood

with flattened cardboard boxes to use as sleds down dir...

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If I step outside

& sniff the winds

I hear the explosions

I hear the cries of the mothers

I hear the gunshots

I hear the anguish of the fathers.

Far or close,

the winds carry

the sorrows,

the insanity,

of us,

us on this turning orb.

I step inside

& pray.

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A moment of

sweet homeostasis

oh how welcome!

is that beautiful balance,

not all perfect

by any means,

but ebbing & flowing

in a peaceful rhythm--

no expectations, 

throwing society's standards of success out the window,

no screaming or yelling,

just chuckles

& gentle pats on the back,

doing good, buddy, 

doing good--

sweet homeostasis

is good enough...

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Why does a soul incarnate

& choose (if it is a matter of choice?)

a life of slow self-destruction

notwithstanding the pleas

of all the beloveds,

begging them to get help,

to heal,

to live in glowing health

rather than cowering suffering?

No, no, says the person

pursuing their own destruction,

I don't want your help,

I don't need your help,

as hurtful, ugly wo...

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We carry sorrow in our hearts

like a stone

too heavy to lift,

too dense to dissolve.

But still...

there are times when

our hearts

expand 

wider & wider

until remnants of joy

fill all the empty spaces

& our hearts grow lighter

in that sliver of a moment

of kind illumination.

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Memories can be a wonderful thing,

triggered by a flash in the mind,

a photo stumbled upon in a dusty box,

a story shared by a friend.

Enjoy them, learn from them, but don't cling to them

at the expense of this present, precious moment.

Be present, right here, right now,

something beautiful is unfolding,

let your eyes be open,

let your heart be open,

this very moment ...

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Take the thread,

attach it to the needle,

push it gently through the garment,

to make what was torn apart

whole again.

Life arrives at our doorstep

in a tangled mess of threads,

we think we need to unravel the twisted knots,

but no--

just drop the bundle & start anew,

with a deep breath

& quiet mind.

Life can be a simple garment,

a cloth embroidered with colo...

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Energy flows in,

energy flows out,

like the tides

ever rising, ever falling,

the pendulum swings

back & forth,

people rejoice when it is moving

in their direction,

people weep when it moves

far to the other end.

Understanding the movement of the poles,

north & south,

understanding the turning of the globe,

east & west,

brings peace.

Bend deep like a min...

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Yesterday has its regrets,

today brings its challenges,

tomorrow carries its fears.

We rise & review

what happened,

what we did

in the days gone by.

We descend & worry,

who knows what

the morrow has in store.

We walk & meet today's

troubles & frustrations

with tight muscles & hesitation

until....

a break through

a break down

a break out--

like a g...

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There is a little lady

who lives inside of me

& runs the show of my days.

Every morning she rises,

puts on her little apron

with 3 pockets,

& does the rounds

around her house--

tidying up yesterday's messes,

cooking breakfast for her family,

bathing & grooming

& opening the front door

to greet the sky & start the day.

Her mind plans her day

(this & that & ...

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I feel the rain

drumming in my heart

a staccato beat

steady & sure

replenishing

plants, animals, people

with thirsty openness

we sing to the rain

rain! rain! rain!

the rivers & lakes & oceans join in the chorus

fill us with your life

of celestial joy

falling, falling, falling

from the sky to our eager 

outstretched hands

renewed

we dance in the puddl...

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I walk into the darkness 

& pray for our healing,

truly, there is no lamp to light our way,

we are as children

without a guide,

the path is thorny & rocky

but we continue on,

we believe

in hope,

we believe

in new beginnings,

surely the road will open before us

& we will find our way to wholeness.

I walk into the light

& give thanks for our healing,

trul...

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Every day unfolds 

in perfect harmony.

How can the melodies be anything but perfect

when my breath is my only song?

My breath rising & falling,

that is the sole task for the day,

that is the single goal of the hour,

all else is window dressing

to adorn my time with color & curiousity--

oh, this is what this day wants me to do--

I approach it with relish,

I sing son...

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Cat sleeping,

misty morning,

cushioned chair,

(un-stuffed by cat,

little by little,

day by day)--

cat likes it that way. 

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I asked for a quiet mind 

& it arrived

floating on a peaceful cloud,

the words disappeared,

my mind became a blank canvas of emptiness,

how beautiful the realms

of no-words,

of deep silence.

I thought of the hummingbirds

who travelled thousands of miles across oceans & continents,

moving from one far away place to another--

was everywhere they flew like home?

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I am old like the earth

I am slow like a glacier

I am calm like a mountain

I am rested like a lake

The streams of my days

flow through me with no turbulence

My breath is my guide & comforter

There is nothing I fear wrapped in the arms of Life

I am young like a fresh sprout

I am fast like a blazing sunrise

I am energized like a sudden rain

I am happy like a starry n...

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There is

what is seen

what is thought

what is felt.

Behind that,

there is

who is seeing

who is thinking

who is feeling.

Even further behind that,

there is

who is seeing the seer?

who is observing the thinker?

who is noticing the feeler?

Go as far back as you can

behind the objects & events in your world

behind the thoughts in your mind

behind the ...

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The morning air in Fall

washes me with joy.

It is cool & light

& invites me to breathe deeply.

There are no burdens dancing in the air,

there are no worries carried on the breeze,

no--only the solace of the new day,

the promise of moment by moment unfolding--

no expectations,

just curiousity--

what comes next?

A breath of air,

this is all I need.

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