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Cat Ass Trophies

In Dalston, London, where we lived for a spell,

we saw many stray cats & some were unwell.

From having just one cat of our own at the start,

we soon had 3 living with us but soon one had to part.

 

Poor Tommy had been our first and always on the hop,

but from the fits he was having that the vet could not stop

it soon became clear he was in danger so the time came

when we wa...

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catsfunpetsvetslaughter

Halloween Is Here

Halloween is here tonight, and all will seek to brave a fright,
as people come and people go, wherever pumpkins are on show...

The sweets are rattling in the tin, what flavours are to be had within,
and who has worn the scariest mask, as midnight comes that's what we ask…

Back home the children all wear smiles, their feet aglow from walking miles,
and as they drink some heated m...

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Fun

The Myth Of The Perfect Man

 

 
 
The Myth Of The Perfect Man
 
The perfect man does not exist
And if he did would soon be kissed
By all those waiting for the event
So soon his energy would all be spent
 
Indeed his lips would be so chaffed
Swollen while his breath was gasped
Poor guy his chances seem so slim
No one would call him Lucky Jim
 
Without some clones ...

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Fun

Like Petals In The Wind

 

Like Petals In The Wind
 
He said "I met them all on line you know,
but so many are now lost from view,
some folk are like petals in the wind
when we can't see them, I wonder can you?"
 
I said " I have an inkling that
I may have seen one or two,
tell me were they pink sir?"
He said, oh no, mine were all blue."
 
To this I then replied "Sir,...

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Funwhimsy

The Apprentice

The Apprentice

"I saw it all"
said the witness
"For I am the carpenter"
head down, foot up,
arm stretching ever more...

"Try to keep it to that line
hold it straight and true."
Teeth vibrating every stroke
board slipping, blood dripping,
from the deep cut then resulting.

"Darn it!"
Said the seamstress
"A stitch in time
you know will save nine."
Came forth from her needle tongu...

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funblood

All Butt All

All Butt All

 

Barely bothered as he lay down his weary head
Life was so much hassle, he just wished he could be dead

The medics kept his ticker beating as it should
But at what quality of living, he felt none understood

It's a dog's life he thought with such irony
If I had but been a dog, wouldn't they end this misery

Brighter days were now few and so far between
His memories s...

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funagesicknurse

School Rules

School Rules

 

I have to say with words I play so much it ires some peeps

But those that like to listen still are my friends for keeps

Whilst back in school my rhymes did rule too much from time to time

In English class acceptable but in History t'was viewed a crime

 

One day we had to tell the tale of Henry and his wives

But I was bored and pepped it up with a few comic as...

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schoolfunrules

Winter On The Trailer

 

Back in the mid seventies, I spent some time working with a company that specialised in organizing sales based around taking container loads of goods direct to the car parks of large factories so that staff could purchase goods at rather low prices for the day. One time we had a real struggle due to the temperature falling very low overnight. I wrote this while shivering on the van...

 

...

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funicewinter

Dusty Books

Dusty Books

 

I'm a poet 

Not a mechanic

If the rhyme breaks down

Should I panic?

 

For each syllable stretch

And stumbling scan

Do I search for another

Or act like a man

 

Must the purpose I scribe

Be for passing a test

Or maybe some mention

Of a tale with some zest

 

I think the audience tell 

If they like it or not

And may offer a silence

...

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rulesfunpedantrygrammar

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