(This poem is dedicated to the select members of the S.A.S. .... Surfers Against Sewage)!

I’m just swimming in Portreath

Just going through the 'motions'

A large environmental car thief

Made of a thousand witches potions

I’ve streaming eyes and raspy throat

A throbbing head and aching ear

The only safe place is a boat

I’d never write “Wish you were here!”

...

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Suncream, Sandwiches, Sea and Sand

Warm sheltered rock-pools on the beach

This British green and pleasant land

Where Donkeys'  poo and Seagulls' screech

Grandad’s hanky on his head

His rosy cheeks a shade of peach

His Daily Mirror long since read

Where Donkeys' poo and Seagulls' screech

Grandma’s at Bingo every night

Her handbag with her like a leech

Her rol...

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There was a fight down at the beach today

Much to my horror and surprise

A large crowd stood there watching it

I could not believe my eyes

I saw a man who had a stick

Proceed to beat his wife

Blow on blow and on her head

To an inch within her life

The frenzied crowd just screamed for more

With a loud and raucous din

I got there as the Police turned up

And...

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