You would be doing me a favor

that I find impossible to gift myself.

Less death since one could say

my soul passed away

a long time ago,

Silently.

Like the serenity I long for.

No, not non-existence,

just

silence.

I scream a cackle into the 

cushions of my sofa

as the irony coats the inside of my mouth.

I must have

deserved

the ranci...

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I slink around in my one-bedroom apartment

wallowing in my loneliness.

It feels like everyone who I have ever loved has

absconded from my grasp.

Shockingly,

they all fled in their own unique fashion.

Some moved away.

Some I moved away from.

Some turned out to be different

from whom I thought they 

ought to be.

Some transformed into something more

sinister

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a flick of a switch

and darkness crept into each corner of the room,

tracing each surface

and caressing each crack  

until each speck of dust

breathed in black.

a slight sigh

left her lips

and hung momentarily in the air -

feelings

that seemed so effervescent in the day

dissipated swiftly

as soon as they came.

and soon

shadows intertwi...

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Words are such a funny thing,

Without actions that align, what value do words bring?

An illusion curated specifically for you,

By someone you wish so deeply would speak things that are true.

Screaming in anger, giving passionate praise, whispers of love, tone dripping in disgrace,

Love and hate simultaneously spewed in your face.

How is one supposed to feel,

Not knowing w...

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Well he's definitely very angry today
He's gone and taken the world's colour away
Left me with only white, black and grey
Nothing, nada, no red, blue, yellow or green
No trace of them, gone! nowhere to be seen.
Vibrant pink, warm orange and vermillion
There nothing left now in this colourless prison
So how to describe the earth's serene face
The tree's and the flowers and wide open space
...

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I am the serpent that writhes in your mind
Decisions, derision, words formed unkind
Mestophiles old, sat cast in stone.
Place steel in your hand that cuts to the bone.
Sameal seducer, moulder of man.
To cast doubt on a love, destroy if he can.
Grigori descended to mess with your lives.
Carry the hurt out on many poor wives.
Lucifer guides,  the road easy and wide.
Your lead to take, to p...

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Roses are red, violets are blue,

When I think of your love for me, I lose love for you.

What does my love feel like to me?

Being surrounded by beauty that only I can see.

Hidden behind my smile is someone fragile, flawed, and easily broken.

I showed you all of my healed scars and one by one you ripped them back open.

Again and again, my mind retreats to happier days while I ...

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I almost killed myself tonight,

I ran out of reasons to live and reasons to fight.

Each day is a battle just to survive,

How is it that I am expected to thrive?

The loneliness in this house is overbearing,

I feel like a fool for even caring.

All I need is to be loved and feel wanted,

But my reality is the opposite while my brain is haunted.

Nothing I say or do wil...

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You can learn a lot about yourself in the dark..

The things that once terrified you no longer appear so large 
and that flame that you had to light for yourself 
will guide you to places that you didn't know existed

Thank yourself that you persisted 
You lit that fire in the damp, in the cold 
You nurtured it as it turned from a flicker to nothing but coal

Really, thank yourself for n...

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