There are days

Where my emotions

Consume me

Like they are engorging

Themselves upon a

Seven course meal

And sometimes

They preserve me 

Like they are slowly

Methodically

Slurping down a bowl of cereal

On a lazy spring morning

Today is not a lazy spring morning

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We go through life trying to fulfill

By feeling full

It’s easy to live in comfort and abundance

But maybe you drown,

Don’t live

And you just exist

Strip away luxury…

Could you be with just yourself,

And basic needs?

With only your thoughts for company?

Because we go through life trying to fulfill

By feeling full

We consume with our mouths

Pack, squeeze, cram...

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During moments of purity
I find my chest tight
The familiar feel of panic
As I wonder how long it will last
Pressure building
Like an elephant 
Placing its foot upon my center
These moment of purity
Are not always happy
But sometimes they can be
When the raw feelings build up
Yet they don't come out
Almost trapped
Inside of the vault of my body
And I forgot the passcode
They scream ...

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Today I sit here in my car, trying to hold back tears, trying to stay strong

A teacher....

Teach your students colors,shapes, letters, numbers, teach them about life, and now keep them safe from guns

Today I sit here in my car, trying to hold back tears, trying to stay strong, remember you are a teacher

Teach your students to not be afraid, yet in your heart you know the world is again...

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Charade

Is my confusion an illusion
Is my mind just playing games
All the demons and the monsters
Quick enough to lay the blame
Many questions left unanswered
And many answers make no sense
My only coping mechanism
Is self destruction or self defense
On the outside I may look happy
But I’m crumbling inside
All the feelings and emotions
Just so much easier to hide
If the lock could b...

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A sheltered soul is not soulful.

He’s hidden with worry and exhaustion.

Because the thought of pursuing is tiring,

Is damning,

Is embarrassing.

In a space that is too wide

There’s too much interpretation for the open.

So instead he closes himself softly,

Harshly.

He’s never been told.

He’s never been asked.

He’s never known that a sheltered soul is not soulful.

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If I bled out in front of you
would you finally see the goodness in me?
What will it take to resurrect the person I am inside from the hollows of your eyes?
I'm suffocating at the pressure of you obligatory love
confined by propriety and severed from my spirit
Cant you see my fingers turning blue?
Cant you hear my desperate gasps?
These tortured lungs’ salvation lies in one breath of forgiv...

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I’ve been sitting on the precipice of this

For a while

Unsure how to express my feelings

When I don’t know what I feel

You see 

I’m hysterically nonreactive 

I’m worryingly unworried 

A switch 

From nothing to everything 

Because - like Whitman -

I contain multitudes

Many great thrashing waves

Like creatures 

They slip through nets

Can’t be caught 

They...

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If there was a shop selling skeins
Of all the emotions people need,
All at different prices to reflect
The value these things usually collect...

Then Joy and Laughter would be prized,
There'd be lots in stock to entice
Customers into the store
Of that we can be sure.

And Hope and Ambition, in various conditions,
All to be there for those who need,
Amongst the store of many other thin...

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Her universe was split into a mass of struggles and compressed emotions within an sunken space. 

The collisions of depression and anxiety grew stronger forming dark energy made up of misery; it’s high density crushed happiness quicker than the speed of light.

There were once stars in her eyes, shone brighter than any quasars, but it burned away creating the black hole in her being, leaving...

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Imagine all the paths that we
Might take from where we are.
Those that keep us local.
Those that take us far.

Imagine going round in circles
Or off tangentially.
Think of trekking to a mountain
Or travelling overseas.

Imagine all the sights and sounds,
The people we might find.
The things we haven't done yet.
The places left behind.

Imagine now the path of air
From breathing in ...

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When I’m sad the sun sets and clouds roll in

When I’m sad the world’s cold and grey

Rain lashing down

With its somber, lonely sound

When I’m sad the worlds not okay

When I’m angry and annoyed the storm rages on

When I’m angry clouds beat on their chest

Sharp light in the skies

Piercing through my closed eyes

When I’m angry I simply can’t rest

When I’m afraid...

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He looks out of the open window 

at the end of the street,

cold and grey it seems like melancholy 

& there she stands afar

calm and still,

like the depths of the ocean waters;

as the time slips and the 

night sky drops on this world,

the moon shines bright as ever 

envied, as it looks at her glaring eyes,

radiating without the help of another star 

like firefl...

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kite and boy

a paper kite

flutters in the wind

making wonderful sounds

back to the boy holding

the end of the string

kite dips and smiles

at boy and dances

little jigs as its string

is held taut

boy smiles back

a strong wind begins to blow

kite string breaks with a snap

startled boy looks up

and sees kite start to

fly in erratic patterns ...

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Thunderstorms
Running through my head
Rumbles getting louder
Scared things might be said
Hide away in a closet
Because the sound is so loud
Hide from the truth
Because the truths not allowed
Thunderbolts they are striking
Flashbacks of a lad
A childhood in silence
Adolescence was sad
But storms they get stronger
They gain strength with time
The rain is now pouring
I’ve a hurricane m...

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Trying hard to save me
Fighting hard to stay
Sorting through the feelings
That never go away
I may look harder from the outside
But no-one sees the me within
Cuz if they saw for just one moment
They would see I’m crumbling
 

I need help to get me through
Another day of feeling blue
Of feeling weak, I’m not that strong
Of feeling who I am is wrong
But I’ll get through
I know it’s tr...

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I'm so sick of my spinning thoughts

Up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down

Ecstasy, melancholy, wistful wanderlust, crippling fear, I know no other method.

I want to love, I want to grow, but my body and mind are barely crawling forward, their muscles aching, their breath ragged. 

There's only one constant that fills my being.

Exhausted. Exhausted. Exhausted.

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I was reading a story

When i felt a sudden spark of pain in my heart

I was feeling like someone was piercing needles deep inside my soul

It was unbearable and tears were rolling down 

I closed my eyes, it was all dark

And then i saw you

I tried opening my eyes but I couldn’t 

Because deep inside I still wanted to see you for maybe one last time even when nothing was real 

B...

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Sometimes even when everything is right

Nothing feels right 

Everything is complete 

But deep down all you feel is emptiness  

Your life is going smooth 

But all you feel is sadness

You’re happy 

But all you do is cry

You don’t know the reason

But all you feel is pain enduring you

You don’t want to give up

But all you do is losing hope

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I have a  really little child inside me who wants her all the time and if she don't get it she cause all kinds of emotional havoc and chaos.           She wants to center of the attention all the time and if she not.                   She do best to make me misable.  So I try to tell her everyday.                    That she is in loving way that I am in charge and not her.                        ...

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Feelings

I never like to be ANGRY as it is an awful feeling.

As often we do regretful things when all tempers hit the ceiling.

Because after that YOU might be the one who ends up getting blamed!

And then it may be YOU who feels the GUILT or SHAME!

I never like to feel BORED and have all my interests unoccupied.

Where we find we cannot doing anything whether we have or haven'...

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Could I but harbour a feeling,

Tie it down so it wouldn't escape.

Could I but box in a sensation

And wrap it in sticky tape.

Could I but enjoy working,

Then I would appreciate rest.

Could I but feel elation,

Without later becoming depressed.

Could I but organise my mind,

Put memories in some sort of order.

Could I but spend all the rest of my days

In exci...

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In the depth of the ocean
darkness surrounding me 
my invisible enemy
lurking in the deepest part of my soul

drowning,
emotions surfacing
faced with only
my own thoughts

my pretty smile
disguising my lies
my tears,
tell a story.

I am, ok!
my favourite line,
while tears
find their way into my heart

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Love is a noun

                  in the need of finding it,

                  once found, a verb.

                  Love is a beast

                  so wild

                  haunting on its prey.

                  Love is a drug

                  leading to addiction.

                  Love is a novel

                  starting at prologue,

       ...

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Choice Made

This is what I don't like about my parents dying

The awful fucking grief that kills me inside

The knowing I won't see them again in this world

I will have to wait till I cross to the other side

How will I find myself for the rest of my life?

Wondering knowing feeling hating these emotions

And thoughts that have never ever been like this before

It almost feels li...

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A field of choices

Rotten cherries scatter us

Piercing white noise breathing

Bow to the mirror

Heart stops, feet sinking

I hope you love loneliness.

Cloud kisses turn into lemons

Miles to go

Sheets that resume the velvet

Digging.

Never going.

Wheels that turn gold into rust

Frazzled metal pieces

Doors less traveled

Turn off the questions

Faucets drip

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Obscurity through anonymity 

Animosity through sensitivity 

Fragility through uncertainty 

Jealousy through arrogance 

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Headstrong Tornado

I feel like I failed myself for not joining the Royal Air Force

I wanted to join for years ever since I was a kid

But my teenage moods got in the way

Like they did with most other things

And still do but I see them for what they are, moods

Which stopped me from being elite

And serving my country and deterring the enemy

Be it Soviet Russia or anyone else

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #11} {Noiseless Silence}

The sound's

of the noiseless

silence that

ringings out

in their head's

like the

amplifiers

sound's off

that she's

dead `n` she

lays there in

the echoes of

hysteria `n` 

the noiseless

noise covered

her lifeless

emotionless

body with the

darkness as

the amplifiers

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{Diary Of The Southern Queen Entry #2} {Sometimes} 

Sometimes

I feel

lost in

this evil 

corrupted 

world we

have to

call home 

©One_Pissed_Off_American_Ghost_Writer/Tina Glover 12/08/2017 all rights reserved

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By: Mirza Sharafat

Khushboo se mehakta aisa hi sansaar hota
ye mosam mere yaha har baar hota

tujhe manaana baar baar sirf hunar hai mera
tera roothna phir kis qadar dushwaar hota

tu kar chuka hai soda emaan ka, ehsaas ka
bawajood iske tu kabhi sharamsaar hota

fakhr e talwaar wo, qatil e kufaar hota
youm e ashoor hamrah Hussain ke Mukhtaar hota

tu haar chuka hai baazi Sharafat ki...

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I had that dream again...

You and me dancing on some random beach.

 I felt your hands on my thighs,

moving me gently with your warm eyes.

You were looking at me like if it was the first time, 

the first time of holding me with your warm hands. 

I remember it clearly now.

My head was resting on your chest,

I know you were smelling my hair and

playing with it just like y...

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Is there something wrong with me?

No forget it, don't answer.

I don't need the diagnosis,

There's no need to say it,

Not even a whisper...

As the moon rises, the sky darkens...

It can't be helped.

As the place grows dark and time passes,

In this quiet home,

I start to feel alone.

The sinking feeling starts...

It's only 9pm and I feel alone.

Who can I...

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How can I say how I feel,

Describe words to you that you will understand,

If I myself don't understand...

There are days I just want to scream.

When all I crave is to be heard,

For someone to simply understand how I feel.

Someone who grabs my hand without needing to be asked,

Simply because I need to feel the support.

It is so easy for me to say everything's okay...

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1.

Time goes on

The world does too

Our Nature grows and dies

Our technology expands and flies

We manifest and destroy

To make ends meet

Even with passing days

We forget about the increasing heat

Or the decreasing ice sheets

Nothing seems important

To global tyrants and corporations

But money and power

At the cost of decreasing our showers

We accept it whic...

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How can I tell her that I love her?

How can I show her my true feelings?

If the words “I Love You” are dwarfed compared to what I feel.

Not even all the jewelry and roses of the world could equal her beauty.

How can I describe to her?

That every time I see her my surroundings cancel out.

She is my center of attention,

That for her my heart aggressively pounds.

Wil...

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In my times of tribulations,

Arrived my salvation.

One might think it was an angel,

It was, but in the form of a girl.

She brought light into my life,

My prayer of hope in the flesh.

Her name alone is a prayer,

That brings easiness to my heart and head.

She makes me be a better man,

She has taught me to trust and love.

With her eyes, she stops time.

With ...

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A small flock of unidentified birds

flies into the skeleton trees

and disappears.

What magic is this?

Smoke from the boiler-house chimney,

at the mercy of the fickle wind,

blows this way and that, confused

unstopping, white, following the music

of Mozart's violins: moving, then still

- a crescendo starts to build -

- falls away to keen -

- a lull -

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Today my heart felt a blow,
By a view so divine.
I let my emotions flow,
Like a 30 year old wine.

There it was in that tiny box,
With pulses of energy shooting through,
That blurry image came across,
Like the inside of a Great Gray Kangaroo.

I felt her hand touching mine,
Held her hand - fingers entwined,
Watching my angel wriggle and shine,
With the life of Us combined.

Seeing y...

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Where is my mind, At times I feel I scratch and claw just to find, I'm behind in the race eluded to the right pace, Same case different place, as my sorrows follow, Escape no longer option not sure if it ever was, Just a young man tryna to do what I must Yet I titter on the cusp, feeling like it's all a bust, How can trust what I know when everyone else seems to go.... Astray. Been t...

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I see you there; hiding

Behind layers of an icy stare,

Lurking in the shadows of a wicked wit,

Peeking from behind your "I don't give a shit".

I see you there;

Shivering,

Alone and bare.

Thinking no-one

In the world

Will ever care.

But I see you

And, I do.

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Her & Bear

There was once a girl with a Teddy Bear

The teddy bear was part of her

They played, they cuddled they had such fun

They’d sing and dance and laugh and run

And then one day she met a boy

Who wished to take care of her toy

She loved that boy with all her heart

She always thought they’d never part

The boy was mean he hurt the bear

He k...

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His whistle echo's

The memories of my mind

Really miss my dad

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Twisted Maleficarum turned abomination

desperately seeking a return to one's humanity.

Expelling demons,

pumping passion like the blood that summoned them.

Bleeding tears, sweating fears

soaked in trepidation.

Summon some feeling

no time for healing

when paint is just pain with

twin pronged brush strokes.

Tattered, trying, tonal

...

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On the day of her death

he didn't cry.

Everyone said

"He doesn't care!"

On the day they laid

her to rest

he didn't cry.

Everyone said

"He never loved her!"

On the one month anniversary

of her death he was found

lying next to her grave.

An empty bottle of poison

...

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TIME WILL TELL…

I’m a prisoner in my own life, got a deluge of violent images bombarding me. Oh god make it stop, it brings me to my knees. I swear I’m not a violent man; my problems from the past are years old, at times they come and get me at night, for those hours I’m on my own and vulnerable in my bed, the assault continues.

I try to use my common sense to distance myself from...

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