Poetry Blogs (2014, Humour)

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Breaking Bad for Christmas

Breaking Bad’s at last run out

Walt and Jess got even

Bodies lying all about

Someone’s finally leavin’

Can’t get by on Game of Thrones?

Not a fan of Dexter?

If you want more Breaking Bad

Here’s a Christmas Extra

 

Heather Page and Stan Bymee

Lived in Alberquerque

Stan was cooking crystal meth

Heather breeding turkeys

They went on a date or two

But it came ...

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humour

THE TEAR

entry picture

What, to you, does a tear signify?
Joy, pain, sadness, or just something in the eye.
How do you respond?   Grasp the shoulders and share the joy,
Hold her close and reveal that it’s a boy.
Give a sympathetic cuddle with it's irritating stroking
Sorry, didn’t realise it was your eye I was poking.

© Jack Purvis OOPs
 

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humourirreverencepathossadness

When Snails Cry

When snails cry

You can see tears

From their tiny eyes.

Eyes out on stalks

Eyes out for walks.

Behind those eyes

Lies a surprise.

No one knows

Their silent pain

But no one is to blame,

Fate plays a cruel game,

The shell of a snail

Makes it lame,

Weighs it down,

Like a pound

But makes no sound.

The voiceless cries

Of snails,

Their sticky membran...

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Daniel Tavethumournaturesnail

IT'S SO HOT

entry picture

It’s so hot
Let’s stop here my lady
It’s so cool, and
The trees are so shady
Oh! it’s so hot

Come, let us undress and do without
Us!  M’lady,  I’ll not bare my plums
I’ll sit and look out,
And, warn you if anyone comes
Very  well.  Please give a genteel shout
She unlaced her bloused top
Bared her chest. Not to entice
Splashed them, once, then twice
Stooping low, her breasts they did...

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humourladiespictureracystoryundress

Poem for Germany

Deutschland, Deutschland

über the moon

you won’t be sober

any time soon.

 

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footballGermanyhumourworld cup

More whelks, Bishop?

entry picture

One of my favourite opening sentences in all the world is the opening line to Anthony Burgess’ novel Earthly Powers:

“It was the afternoon of my eighty-first birthday, and I was in bed with my catamite when Ali announced that the archbishop had come to see me.”

Being not very well read, I haven’t actually read the book but I am sure it is rather good as the first sentence is stunning and mad...

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bishopscomic versehumourlight versepoetry

No, I Am Not!

entry picture

Answering the question if she is friendly with alcohol,

she replied honestly:

No, I am not.

But the relationship I support.

 

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humour

I Compare Thee To A Roast Dinner

From my new book:- A Floristry of Palpitations

I COMPARE THEE TO A ROAST DINNER

As cool as a sprout,

and more fragrant than a cabbage -

You turned me on with your Yorkshire Pudding wit.

Your potato looks, and carrot personality

attracted me like gravy to a plate.

Your cauliflower skin, and garden pea humour

was as passionate as a roast beef kiss.

 

Your solicitor was ...

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A Floristry of PalpitationsHumourPoetryRoast Dinner

NEW YEAR AT JACK AND JACKIE'S PLACE

Before we moved home my wife and I hosted a New Year Party with usually over twenty attending.   We introduced the old fashioned entertainment of singing, poetry, story telling.   I wrote the following after the last one.

~~NEW YEAR AT JACK AND JACKIE’S PLACE

THE LONG ROOM AWAITED
GLITTERING AND GOLD
TABLE PREPARED TO ENSURE GUESTS WERE SATED
WINE PRESENTED ENSURING THE WHITES WERE COLD
...

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Celebrationdiningfriendshumournewyearpartywining

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