Re Ghazal (branches). John, I don't find your comments 'nit picky'. 1) You have spotted a missing apostrophie and 2) The line 'filing down the wind's teeth' and 'branches' raises an important point when writting ghazals in english. The poem is a compromise between, on the one hand maintaining the criteria and on the other creating a poetic voice worth hearing. In the first sher (As Philipos pointed out the voice was compromised as boughs would have been more harmonious) and yes in the 3rd sher also. To try and get round this to some degree other poets have inserted a lot of punctuation. Maybe a dash would improve the reading, some english ghazals are almost overwhelmed with punctuation IMHO,
Cheers john

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Hi Laura,

I know exactly what you mean- reference your last comment on the OK society poem.

P.S

It was nice to meet you at the Tudor.

fantastic performance of your space poem....really enjoyed it!

Happy Christmas

Chris

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thx for the feedback and kind comment on the Ok Society poem.

Thoughtful...

Cheers Isobel

Might see you at the Howcroft..if not have a really happy Christmas.

Chris

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Thx for the generous and detailed feedback on the OK Society poem Steve.

I did perform it at The Bards and it went down in the tone/manner that felt apt.

It'll be good to be back at the Bards in the New Year!

Chris

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Appreciate the comments on the OK Society poem- if it strikes a chord then that is good.

Of course I wish our society spent less time on tittle tattle and paid far more attention to real news stories. I wish our media had more decorum, decency and taste.

If only something could be done.

Chris

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

hey folks, have printed a new poem up on me Write Out Loud blog- 'Hero'. be cool to see what folk think :)

Comment is about Dominic Berry (poet profile)

Original item by Dominic Berry

Hi Ann, Yes. Mission accomplished. and just before the weather went wrong again. I will patch you in to the report in due course. Win :-)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Glad you arrived safely!

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Oops - thanx for pointing me in right direction

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Evening Lynn-thanks for hobbling to the puter and reading my pooims-to which thou hast yea and verily commentheth upon-fanx darlin! SW-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Ta Laura for the 'like' on Infinity Station... very much appreciated.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Ta Ann for the nice post on Infinity Station... glad you liked it.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Cheers for the nice words about Infinity Station. ...and yes when I look back on it that is what it's about... it was written in a bit of a rush.. I was trying to capture a moment and then riff off that so it's nice to find out what its about afterwards!

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi John,

Thanks for the comment on my Infinity Station Poem...

I think you are right about the use of the word Phallic, that verse might need a bit of work I think coz the 'joke' of it doesn't quite work at the moment.

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Hi Lynn - yes less is sometimes best eh - I agree - thanks for taking the trouble to read and comment on Botswana and good luck with the post op recovery and to Benji say prrrp for me

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thank you for your comments about 'At Cromer', Lynn!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for the comments about 'At Cromer'.

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Hi again Ann, yes I love Cornwall, it's my favourite part of the country, yet we always seem to holiday abroad the last 15 years or so. Unfortuntely, we haven't visited my sister since she moved there, but hope to some time soon. Last time we met up at my other sister's, as she lives in Seaton. Longer ago we had holidays in Looe, Polperro and Carbis Bay.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Many thanks for your kind words of comment Cynthia. I am pleased that you have seen in this poem (Bemused Rumination) what quite a few would be reviewers have not recognised. I am grateful and most appreciative for your input and time. Cheers, Frederick

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tut and I thought no one would ever suss the place - a rich source of cameo material though I might add - and since I have a latte there most days round noon -just say the word and we can meet up for a chat

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

http://vimeo.com/5456823

I think you could do a good version of this

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

If Bertrand Russell couldn’t convince you I’m certainly not going to try. I’m not that evangelical about my atheism. In fact some of my best friends are Christians. My Dad bought me the book for Christmas many years ago, not that we celebrated Christmas. He was like the pope of atheism. I believe it had something to do with being a bomb aimer in Lancasters during the Second World War not that he talked about it much. His older brother had been a Japanese prisoner of war and became a Methodist lay preacher on his return. They would have some wonderful discussions, warm never heated. My Dad had the last word at George’s funeral when he started the eulogy with the line- I hope George is quickly coming to terms with the lack of an afterlife.......

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Lynne - yes, Hayle is a few miles away but I often pass through it on the bus - on my way to St Ives. Do you ever visit your sister? Cornwall is great! xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

The feedback on the protest poem- appreciated Laura.

The lines that you quoted were exactly the level of contempt and targets I was aiming at...bloody tragic.

My Best

Chris

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Andy, thx for the feedback on my latest.

Chris

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thx for reading Tommy- appreciated.

Hope you are well- my best

Chris

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Lynn, thanks for comments on Santa. Appreciated.

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hello Cynthia. Thanks for comments on Santa. I can see what you mean about Dickens, Darwin, but the way I say the poem it would disrupt the rhythm too much.And rhythm is king.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Ann, thanks for the comments on Santa. Appreciated.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hiya Steve – thanks for taking another look at Iconic. Yes – I think it needs more than one read to fully understand – I didn’t appreciate that at first. I’ve started telling people who the icons are now before I perform it so they have time to get the references (John Lennon, Lady Di, Marilyn Monroe, JFK, Che Guevara, Martin Luther King). I wanted to get Elvis in but it would have been too much of a squeeze ;)
Sorry you can’t make Thursday – Christmas does get manic with dos to go to – though I’m not too bad this year. Will look forward to seeing and hearing from you in the New Year – your stuff always makes me laugh! Take care and have a good one. xx

Comment is about Stephen Pass (poet profile)

Original item by Stephen Pass

Thanks, Isobel. Good to be back. Wolverhampton can wait.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hello Laura. Thanks for the comments on Santa. I've actually been Father Xmas 3 times at a kids' nursery. The red nose and beer belly help a lot.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Isobel, Hope you're doing alright. Soz I'm not coming to Wigan tomorrow as I'm working late (after the Christmas Party tonight!) but will get along in January. Hope you have a good Xmas and New Year. Just read and heard your Iconic poem - I needed to hear it a second time after Wigan and also read it to appreciate the craft of it as there are complicated themes (for me!) in there - it sparked the old debate for me in pubs, would you prefer to live a long life or burn brightly and out? I thought the recording was great also - I do love your use of song! Take care and all the best for Xmas. Love Stevexxxxxxxxx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi There, Thankyou for looking at Ghazal (branches) you comments were and are always really appreciated. A detailed reply left on the blog entry itself, Win x

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Laura - re Halo - yes the dreaded M word linked in my case I think to recent eye problems - you sound like a fellow sufferer

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

just reporting in to say me little blue light(as in broadband is back on at home-yaye!!) catch you soon Lynn-thanks-Stef.xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

hi Lynn-thanks for bunion news-alls fine-apart from my home 'hub' goin hoff in a huff-the bt man cometh-soon I Hope! sending this from daughters house-thanks for concern-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Win, belated thank you for lovely comments on my ghazal, not easy, are they, lol. x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Hi Dave, thank you so much for lovely comments on my ghazal and for "Sharing" - ouch is right! lol.
Love your shopping ghazal too, it is excellent! x

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Ann, thank you for such lovely comments on my poems, and concern for my foot, I think it's slowly healing. Hope you are getting over the sniffles by now. Take care. Lynn xx
(P.S. my sister lives in Hayle - are you anywhere near her?)
P.P.S. Love your Ruby Slippers! xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Hi Dave - thanks for your comments. I accept that some of the stuff i may put up causes some disagreement and even consternation, but at the end of the day it's only a point of view so hopefully no-one takes it personally. I thought your comments were very balanced and respectful considering you might disagree with some of the substance of the poem.

Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Hi Steve - thanks for your comments. I'll hopefully get a chance to read some of yours and others' poems later today (at work!)

Comment is about Steve Regan (poet profile)

Original item by Steve Regan

Thanks, Greg. A win over the Baggies doesn't quite compensate losing to the Blues, though.Good to be back.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Andy No need to apologise! Yesterday, I had to ask the window cleaner for his name again - I just can't ever remember it! It's Jason by the way.

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

hi dave; - god knows why i called john on my comment on your piece, but it's still a really good piece.

apologises again..

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke

LOL
Mmmm... maybe ; )

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Hey Gus, thanks for the feedback on Forbidden Fruit...glad you liked it.

Hopefuly catch you at an upcoming event in the New Year, be it Bolton, Middleton or Wigan.

Have a lovely Christmas

My Best

Chris

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

I think you may be right I'm veering towards 'white fellas' without italics. The trouble is I write about a lot of foreign stuff and use a lot of foreign terms. It is often hard to know where to draw the line between words that are still foreign or have actually become naturalized. I also seem to be doing a lot of stuff these days that could be termed 'reportage' - which I have no problem with (I'm a big Auden fan) although some people don't seem to keen. In that context 'fellas' might be better and not so melodramatic. Its slightly dismissive tone is also a wry comment on white supremacy.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Greg - the feedback much appreciated and I hope the festivities go well for you and family this Christmas

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

To be honest, I prefer "white fellas", David. For me, it has the ring of the here and now, and I recognised it at once. I could hear it being said, in a sort of growl. But maybe white devils would be a more powerful contrast and make the same point more forcefully. As far as italics are concerned, we italicise foreign words and phrases that haven't become Anglicised. You could argue either way on white fellas! I enjoyed it very much. I bought a couple of CDs of Aboriginal music while I was out there. Very atmospheric. But my wife can't bear to listen to them! She doesn't mind the Australian birdsong CD so much.

Comment is about David Cooke (poet profile)

Original item by David Cooke