Thanks so much for commenting on the ghazal Win - I was really hoping you'd come along, as you seemed to be the only one writing them, and I really fancied having a go :)

Okay, in order of your points:

1. ta! hehe
2. thanks again - wanted to keep it as simple as I could, but more on that in a mo
3. yep - looked it all up
4. oh good - wasn't sure about the narrative aspect
5. ah now, there is SOME rhyme, but the info I looked up - some said yay, some said nay, so I dithered between the two. Can you just clarify - does it need rhyme, or not?
6. you know, I only found that part out about an hour ago whilst still looking for examples of it.
7. GAH! I counted and counted and counted. Hmmm...might change that to eyes instead of alleys then. Ta.
8. and 9. wahey! :D

re point 2 - I realise it isn't a part of the form, but as it seemed such a simple set of couplets, I built some ambiguity in there by not assigning gender to one of the two. Also kept capitals out of it, as I wanted it to be non-hierarchical...if it's going to be about love, well, isn't that integral? Anyhoo, just my little playing around with it :)

Thanks again, really appreciate you taking the time to read, comment constructively, and encourage. More later, as they say!

Laura x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Two Headed Boy pt2 is an amazing thing. took me a while to get used to the singing voice but actually now think he has a voice like Peter Gabriel (not natural but characterful!) It drew tears on the way to work the other day and has even inspired (The start of ) a poem. Win X

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Hi Isobel, like you I tend to skim through them till something catches my eye. Thats because there are some poets who dont give leeway and continue to put up too many blogs at once. I was like that for some time till I became more thoughtful of my own verse and of course, other people. Nevertheless, you are one of the poets I do take time to read as I like your work, and also, you have been here for time proving that you do have a genuine interest in poetry, and this site is not a site you abuse just to get something off your chest. I really do like this site, and in the main I enjoy the rich and varied work. And as said before, I like your work too. Thank you for posting a comment on 'Comes and Goes a Day.' I guess you know what the poem is about, but in case you don't, my wife and I recently lost our second baby to miscarriage. Anyway darling, keep working and posting your poetry. It works! Further, just when i thought nobody was interested in my work, you have come and saved the day. Thank you.

much love and respect to you.

Michael

x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Bloody ell - they're 15 and the parents are only NOW letting them on feelthy public transport? Haha! Christ, they're gonna have a shock in a years time when they roll in pissed eh? ;) Ach, some people - no bloody idea, or just don't wanna know - which is worse.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

'lo love - you weren't being critical in a negative way though were you? I did ask for constructive comments, and your suggestion worked REALLY well - when I read it back it just worked brilliantly! So thank you again lil witch :)

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Hi Comfort, Welcome to Write Out Loud. Winston (Admin)

Comment is about Comfort (poet profile)

Original item by Comfort

Thanks for your comment about the photo Ann. One of my favourites with my granddaughter, who I miss loads when I am in France. another photo of her coming up when I get round to finishing a short piece about skipping all the way to school with her yesterday.
Regarding the comments about your garb in the photo, I am sure ther was more bustle last time I was at Hebden railway station. Cheers.

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

a profile picture poem...'pouting with the dead'

once i stalked the graves of stoke newington
with a 6ft smackhead from dublin
he towered around and lumbered along like a lump from the adams family
while i gaily twittered an early birds song of morticia.
'what is a goth anyway?' i questioned in my red haired garb and black clothed statement bearing anarchy on my chest most ample with breathlessness
theres a long way to get lost in this london town's grey slated cobwebness
in this dead of night a tear formed in his milk heroined eyes as the cold crept under his fingernails.
'its ok' i proclaimed our safety in the clarity of my conscience and knowledge of my innocence with the dead.
he grew uneasy and heavy, he read his crimes of bludgeon and murder.
he threw me on a slab and offered a fuck.
I graciously refused pointing out this was not a part of 'goth' i had ever enjoyed before
and so we retreated to a ramshackle caravan on a rubbish tip somewhere else where amidst the chaos of unscrupulous glastonbury hunters evicting our very bed from beneath us...he threw the stove through the door while i flicked the pages of tank girl and wondered how my life had become so dull...ee the things we do for lack of sleep...xxx

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

re the 'blockage'-send for Dynamic Rod!...oh oh oh(well,tis Christmas-ish)You,ll be back-I,ll bet me cheesecloth shurt onnit-ta me dux-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

How right you are Cynthia. I was being very lazy slipping into 'sleep and heap'. I actually wrote the poem on my mobile phone note pad that morning in the wood so it is unrevised but i wanted to share it. I am enjoying this new burst of creativity and also the friendly comments from yourself and others. Thank you thank you for noticing the title. It was because i was so chuffed with it that I wanted to share the poem right away.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for your comment Cynthia. Always very much appreciated. How on earth I missed out a whole word twice is beyond me! T

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for your recent comment and pointing out the typo... a case of too many 'too's and not enough 'to's!

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

James

Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

much love

James

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for your comment on my sonnet. I know i've take forever to respond but I've been away from the internet this week. Be interesting to hear any criticisms you have :)

much love

James

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thanks for comments on Fitting In, Greg.ECT is very much alive and kicking, though it's a bit of a postcode lottery. One of the buzzwords in mental health at present is evidence-based practice - except when it comes to ECT when intuitive knowledge is allowed to hold sway.

Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Hi Larisa-just popped on to say good morning and hope you are well-love-Stef-xx

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mornin hopalong! hope you are coping-see/read you soon-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

A very good morning to the best poet(by far far far!)on WOL! are you out sledging? Mr W-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

wow...what an amazing pic...how did i miss that event?...god is a bitch x

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Isobel;

thanks for the comment over 'The Other Side'... It's one of those pieces really that wrote themselves if you know what I mean, but defo for me you could tell it's a Winter Poem and also wishing in hindsight perhaps there are things where you wish you could break through...

thanks again - hope you are good xx

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Hi Win;

Thanks for the comments over 'the other side' - it's one of those pieces which wrote themselves if you know what I mean but I like it, and yeah, I am particularly fond of the beginning too.. Thanks again! x

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Thanks for your comment John. There will be a very sad follow up to that one and my Original Oak poem. Rising tuition fees make it pretty certain my son will have to study in Oz. He will come out with too much debt otherwise. I imagine he will end up settling there thereafter - that's usually the way. Looks like I'll be doing a lot of travelling and saving up!

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Then if you've experience of the one-visit-to-the-salad-bar you'll fully understand the concept of using the cucumber as greedy boards.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Ha - I'll confess to not liking salad that much. I am thinking back to a time in Ruislip - there was a beef eater type restaurant where you could have as much salad as you liked but you had to fit it into one bowl. I managed to pile it high - but it was stupid really - it was always the steak and chips I enjoyed the most!

Comment is about John Coopey (poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Glad you liked Chinese Buffet. I honestly don't think you're qualified on matters of gourmand greed if your experience only runs to salad items like tomatoes, though.

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Glad you enjoyed Chinese Buffet. Certainly no offense intended by using the Chinese voice. As an aside I really enjoy the sense of humour and gentle self-deprecation the proprietor of the Wa Yu Wan Restaurant in Spalding has!

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Val
Glad you enjoyed Chinese Buffet - almost a true story.

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Lynn
Glad you enjoyed Chinese Buffet - almost a true story!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Hi Ann;

Many thanks for spotting the typo's on 'the other side'. I occasionally do miss them (advantage of my disabilities)and have corrected them..

I will have a think about the 6th stanza, but thank you for thinking it's a top poem! lol xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

no it was was-War and no bleedin PEACE! I remain yours with a blindfold on and earplugs in-in case you go to hordio-later Lovely-xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Joke explanation for she who has been too cosseted-or is that corseted? soldier tells comrade he would rather be in bed with a book and a big busty blonde than on the battlefield-his buddy astounded that he even thinks about taking a book to bed when he has more than enough to occupy mind-(and body)remarks that the book must be a very good read that it distracts him from carnal activities-the first soldier replys who said I could read...it was supposed to impress the naughty lady....gerrit? PHEW!xx rsvp? not till me musskels bulge!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

I nearly fell off the monkey bars in laughter at your amazing humour! indeed a stick of 'Blacky' rock-with the name Gemma all the way through-it shall remain unsucked!now my musskels need to bulge!

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

in your case sweet feline,the delete button shall only gathereth dust-f'rever! get yer ski,s ready! yours stiffly(all over)Stef on a stick-xx thou shall never gettereth on my wickly moor bahtat-enjoy your day dear friend.(monkey bars are calling-wonder if they sell jungle joose...tee hee)

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Lynn,expect a stick shaped parcel very soon-ta Mrs D-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks Freda for commenting on-'Shes back'best regards Stef.

Comment is about Freda Davis (poet profile)

Original item by Freda Davis

Thank you Ann for comments on "Space". I think it is you that are kind! Tootsies are sore so I'm off to beddybies with pain killers. xx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

thars put a pooim on fer thee lass!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

being a southerner means-you drink tea with your little finger lifted-you eat cucumber sandwhiches-you pronounce your h,s! you would,nt be seen dead in a flat cap-you dont take ferrets to bed-you say yah instead of yeah! you don,t fart in public-you feel as though you are slumming when you talk to rough Rossendalers-lol! you come on here wiv yer fancy ways n airs n gravies-lol!! you don,t laugh at sad northeners who try ter make yer laff-go on Lady Lynn-put down the bone china and grin! I,m even bowing as I write this comment to your Ladyship-bless her n may all southerners sail in her-one way! haha-cheers me owd mukker-scruffy likeable northern loon-xx-xx-the kisses were aimed at yer boots-yer majesty! lol!

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

My grandmother actually learned Russian in her 60's in order to be able to recite Pushkin to me as a child.

She said no westerner could ever understand the beauty of his phrasing and rhymes unless they understood Russian. My grandmother was a remarkable woman...I think she is the reason I try to write poetry to this day...and she's been dead these thirty years.

Thank you for the insight into writing in two languages. Fascinating.

Jx

Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

aw ta Lynn-somebody likes me-even if they are a southerner!! ta chuk-Stef-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

oh Lynn!I was absolutely distraught about your comments ruining my masterpiece....HAHAHA!!..hey girly-you can say what the flip you want to me no probs-stop being a worrier! no-my mad half hour came to an end-was only for a larf-hows the plates of meat love? must be so painful-let it recover properly,don,t go jogging just yet-and leave the penny farthing in the garage-tee hee-catch you later chickamungus-yours trooly-Likeable Loon(that one got no votes-grr-haha)love-Stef-xx-B-xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thank you for your observations on my poem.It was mercury the element...well spotted, de-capitalised now. It was a reference to 'fluids' always finding their own level through the topography...finding the quickest route down, the 'line of least resistance' until it pools...into a small 'moon' that mirrors the large moon in the sky. the idea of mercury was also reference to the colour and the effect that, as they warm up, most (all?) fluids run faster and faster. Mercury always seems to be a speedy little fluid...even though it is a metal.I still think, as Isobel said, it's missing one more line now, I think I've edited it too hard and lost a certain degree of oblique reference to what the guilt was all about. I was trying to capture what I think the French refer to as 'post coital tristesse'...or something.

Post coitum omne animal triste est —"After sexual intercourse every animal is sad".


Glad you liked it.

:)

Jx

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thank you so much Lynn - Love Visits from Another Planet. You are very kind! Hope the tootsies are OK! xx

Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Thanks for your comments Laura . I love raspberries :) and my mate Ian set me the challenge of a fibonacci form which i was pleased to undertake :)

Comment is about Laura Taylor (poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Thanks very much for your comments on Raspberry fib . It started out as a challenge from a freind , and turned out quite sweet I think :)

Comment is about Valerie Cook (poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

thanks for your comments on raspberry fib :) I don't know about when to stop or start really . My freind here Ian Hayles loves the constraints of form and half challenged me to write a fibonacci sequenced poem. This really appealed because I love the Fibonacci sequence ( nature never wastes a pattern ) and raspberries are just such a fruit.
others seem to repeat or take a set finish . I suppose in research I could've found out the sequence end for a rasberry and used that .. I have only looked at a couple of websites for guidence ,wiki being the simplest so far

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Mornin Win

Oh yes, it's THE most complex album I've ever heard, musically and lyrically. And, even after obsessing over it for a year, I was STILL hearing things in it that I hadn't heard before.

They did an album before that one, but no more. Jeff M basically withdrew from the band and refused to tour the album, and pretty much had a breakdown. He's resurfaced from time to time, but not done anything like that again.

If you're interested in finding out more about the band's birth and dynamic (hugely interesting btw), there's a cracking little book by Kim Cooper on Amazon.

What I would say is...don't give up on it too early, and I hope you get as much out of it as I have.

:)

Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Eh up John - no worries, I enjoyed reading it and commenting. I think a man writing about the female orgasm is very interesting, because although you can observe certain things, (and if properly in touch, can sense the orgasmic energy 'rising' as it were, and share that) you never really know exactly how it feels, so it's quite difficult to do successfully.

Love that lifting hips line :)

Thank you for your very lovely comments on my poems too btw. I wasn't quite sure what you meant by 'expressive freedom', but I am always ready to accept a compliment graciously ;)

Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)

Original item by John Aikman

Mornin Isobel! Ta for comments on my little experiment. Re the guide to puberty book, personally I would MUCH prefer my daughter to be able to have the knowledge of, and access to masturbation/vibrators. That's by the by now cos she's 19 - but wouldn't YOU have loved your own vibe at 15? Damn sure I would. If you can satisfy yourself sexually, there may be much less of an urge to get someone else to do it for you, or at the very least, sate the urge to do it RIGHT NOW without protection. And shouldn't girls learn to love their own bodies, and know what they are capable of? That's a precious gift - not something to be muddied with other people's 'morality', don't you think?

Anyhow, food for thought :)

Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)

Original item by Isobel