Puttin' On The Socks

 

 

The old man ain't limber anymore

his legs are weak, his back is sore

but the one thing about it all that sucks

is his inability to put on his socks

 

his legs are stiff, they will not bend

can't get his toes to enter in

the socks elude his feet and then

he comes to a disastrous end

 

his body racked in pain, contorts

as from the chair he soon aborts

a pretzel form, now he's become

a twisted idiot, bar none

 

like it or knot, he falls from chair

and like a klutz, he flounders there

his clumsiness, in form so rare

now he's the one who needs repair

 

on the floor, he flops about

he calls his wife to prop him up

he never knew that chair could buck

his pride now bared, he's sorely crushed

 

He won't be getting up too soon

his rear-end hurts, his temper fumes

the swivel chair done ate his lunch

he's too damn old for stupid stunts

 

He is reduced to a crumpled pile

his place of honor now defiled

his pitch from chair was form so rare

from bucking chairs he'd best beware

 

I guess it was just not his day

as on the floor he limply lay

he might as well let out a bray

his clumsy ass was on display

 

From now on there's no more socks

nor swivel chairs that spin and rock

like an old fool, he will be mocked

as head of house, he is defrocked!

 

*Addendum:

 

I must confess, since the shoe fits

the old man is ME, I must admit

words of advice, from this old coot

if you are old, just go barefoot!

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Comments

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 13th Feb 2020 15:26

As someone who knows the effect of lumbar spinal stenosis (look it up!), I know about this sort of thing. However, there are gadgets
that can be found to provide a way of pulling on socks - and I have
one. It is not often used as I tend to favour padding around in bare feet indoors as well as using soft leather mocassins 0R comfy lined
boots out of doors.
Note: Adaptability is the secret of success in life.

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Brian Maryon

Thu 13th Feb 2020 15:03

Best thing you've done for ages Knapey, or maybe ever IMHO.

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