I saw my future before my eyes for the first time in my life 
It wasnt just ideas but plans with who I 
pictured my wife 
The mother of my children and my partner 
through strife

But I lost it 

It was almost here and gone in a moment
It felt so good but now there's pain and I 
ow it 
Started to slip away so I desperately tried 
to hold it 

But now it's gone 

Was it my fault? I'm more confused than 
ever I have never felt a pain following such an endeavor
My life changed when I met her 
The things I had planned for my life got 
better 

Was it ever real? 

Sometimes it seems like a trick 
She went back on everything she ever said it left me so confused and clouded that my 
head - split 

Why did I stay? 

Looking back I should have left, not because of the pain but it was best 
If I left we could have avoided all the pain, 
to come back when the storm had passed 
Avoided all the conflicts and scars we've 
amassed 

It's not my fault 

Well not entirely
I made mistakes but you had issues and they set their marks on me
It took two therapists for to get that through to me 


Will she come back? 

The world may never know 
Now I have one job, don't let this heart grow cold
Maybe one day we can reunite and grow old

What about my love? 

My love for her burns deep but so do the 
scars, our future is cloudy I can't see very 
far 
This is life changing I can feel it in my soul, 
the whole time I've been thinking what's 
been my role? 
What did I contribute that led to our 
separation? What mistakes could I have 
avoided to prevent this deperation? I point 
at myself for every mistake made but 
therapy tells me I'm not the only one to 
blame.

I know my worth

I made mistakes but I'll be damned if it's all on me 
I gave you my everything and made you my main priority
You gave me what you had but I know it 
wasn't your best 
I think the timing holds more blame than I'd like to confess 

What now?

So for now I guess I'll wait and go back to 
what I was doing. Working on myself 
secretly hoping that what we had isn't 
ruined. One day we'll get a shot, at least 
that's what I'm praying. I want my heart theheal before then, I hope the Lord 
understand what I'm saying.  

 

 

 

 

heart breakhopeLovemarriagemiserypainself worthseparation

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