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Updated: Thu, 24 Jan 2019 07:39 pm

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Poems are a fleeting thought captured in a moment.


I saw my future before my eyes for the first time in my life It wasnt just ideas but plans with who I pictured my wife The mother of my children and my partner through strife But I lost it It was almost here and gone in a moment It felt so good but now there's pain and i own it Started to slip away so I desperately tried just to hold it But now it's gone Was it my fault? I'm more confused than ever I have never felt a pain following such an endeavor My life changed when I met her The things I had planned for my life got better Was it ever real? Sometimes it seems like a trick She went back on everything she ever said it left me so confused and clouded that my head - split Why did I stay? Looking back I should have left, not because of the pain but it was what's best If I left we could have avoided all the pain, to come back when the storm had passed Avoided all the conflicts and scars we've amassed It's not my fault Well not entirely I made mistakes but you had issues and they set their marks on me It took two therapists for to get that through to me Will she come back? The world may never know Now I have one job, don't let this heart grow cold Maybe one day we can reunite and grow old What about my love? My love for her burns deep but so do the scars, our future is cloudy I can't see very far This is life changing I can feel it in my soul, the whole time I've been thinking what's been my role? What did I contribute that led to our separation? What mistakes could I have avoided to prevent this deperation? I blame myself for every mistake made but therapy tells me I'm not the only one to blame. I know my worth I made mistakes but I'll be damned if it's all on me I gave you my everything and made you my main priority You gave me what you had but I know it wasn't your best I think the timing holds more blame than I'd like to confess What now? So for now I guess I'll wait and go back to what I was doing. Working on myself secretly hoping that what we had isn't ruined. One day we'll get a shot, at least that's I'm praying. I want my heart to heal before then I hope the Lord understand what I'm saying.

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