I wanna be a rebel, no more goodie two shoes
I’m done with being PC
I wanna be a rebel you see
Get myself a girlfriend or three
Or would I prefer a strong cup of tea?
With a double brandy, a lager shandy?
Not radical enough? I’m just not tough
But now I’m growing old I wanna be bold
Eat loads of meat pies, kick sand in eyes,
and because I may havedementia,
say there was no intention.
I just wanna be a rebel
To be a rebel is what I really want
I’ve been good since I was dunked in a font
In a church that was old, cold and damp,
so I’ll get my own back and speed up a ramp,
in my electric buggy, pretend I’m a vamp
Kiss the ladies, be like a dog thats rabid
Go wild in the isles when I’m in Asda,
push me trolly round like a souped up Mazda
Buy posh food and pretend I’m a dude
with lots of dough
Oh I really wanna be a rebel you know
The problem is I’m not really the biz
I open doors for ladies, make a fuss of babies
Give me money to charity and in reality
I’m a soft touch who’s been kind too much
Paid for people’s operations, never been on probation, or appeared in court or false passport bought.
But I’ll toughen up and start to get rough
Have one too many and be thrown out the pub
Kick a window in or not recycle in me bins
That will make ‘em sit up and see,
that little old me has changed for the worse,
become a drain on their purse,
a curse on society, I’m now a rebel!! He, he!