What do the heaven's tiny pimple's have in store for you this week?  Twinkle twinkle little stars what's this latest bunch of

 predictions...

 

---

Aquarius (Jan 20 – Feb 19)

 

Mid-month you’ll see

A big boil

On your knee

Or maybe, much, much worse

You’ll lose your wallet,

life or purse

 

Pisces (Feb 20 – Mar 20)

 

This is a warning

Beware, the ides of this month

Someone will hurt you

 

Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 20)

 

The outlook looks set fine and sunny

Your life will be all milk and honey

Ok you may lose a leg

But believe me, Mystic Ted,

You are sure to come into some money

 

Taurus (Apr 21-May 21)

 

As Mercury enters Uranus

There will be an end to all your frustrations

Your hearts desire will soon come true

And you will have that sex change operation

 

Gemini (May 22 – Jun 21)

 

Someone close will get a cold

You’ll suddenly feel very old

Try not to eat potato mould

But remember how much you’re owed

Mid-moth you’ll find that pot of gold

 

Cancer (Jun 22 – Jul 22)

 

Oh the women come and go

Talking of Michelangelo

Ignore them at your peril, see

The next one for the chop is thee

 

Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22)

 

Tiger aspect rising

The glass is falling, round you

Expect an increase in tittle-tattle

That may herald your undoing

 

Virgo (Aug 23 – Sep 23)

 

Hickory Dickory

Unlock life’s mystery

Tidings of gladness and woe

The tocking and ticking

Leave you reminiscing

Mid-month it’s your time to go

 

Libra (Sep 24 – Oct 23)

 

On the first of next month

You will die!

On the second of next month

You will be reincarnated

As a dung beetle

And be as happy as a pig

 

Scorpio (Oct 24 – Nov 22)

 

Travel plans are in the air

so give yourself a treat.

After eating many sweets

better check your teeth

and major organs for disease

but remember, be discrete

 

Sagittarius (Nov 23 – Dec 22)

 

The world ends on the 21st

so why worry?

 

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)

 

You

will be

visited

by hell’s legions

at tea time, Thursday

So better plan

to eat a

little

late