What does December 2009 hold in store for you?  Probably some of the following.  After all, it's vague enough...

 

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 19)

                O’, Aquarius!

                This month will see your fortunes

                Be non-descript and various

                The sun is shining favour on your friends and your

                ambitions

                But from the 21^st that ends -

                A time for meditation

 

Pisces (Feb 20 - Mar 20)

 

                Swim little fishy as fast as you can

                Focus on your business life until the 21^st

                The sun enters the twelfth house then

                And social life takes over

                And by the 25^th you no longer will remember

                Exactly how it felt back in the days when you were sober

 

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 20)

 

                You will feel adventurous until the 21^st

                Thereafter you will concentrate on how you are perceived

                Your reputation will, of course, have altered for the worst

                If you got too adventurous before the 21^st

 

Taurus (Apr 21-May 21)

 

                The sun suggests intimacy is in store for Taurus

                And you’ll be greatly focused on your private concerns

                Don’t bang on about them - or you will only bore us

                But Venus on the seventh dramatically turns

                Your introspection outward

                Making you more active

                And sexually attractive

 

Gemini (May 22 - Jun 21)

 

                The sun that’s in your seventh house

                Makes you lust for a partner or spouse

                This means you are needy

                And probably greedy -

                A candidate host for crab louse

 

Cancer (Jun 22 - Jul 22)

 

                Work upon your health this month

                Both physical and mental

                But don’t neglect appearance too

                Of face, physique and dental

                The 21^st brings new romance

                Face the music - and dance

 

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)

 

                Sun shines on your work

                Winter and Venus conspire

                To make you lazy

 

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 23)

 

                December finds you lost in thoughts

                Of where you are and whence you’ve come

                An introvert philosopher

                Cogito Virgo sum

                But come the 21^st, the sun will bring an end to this

                And come the party season you’ll be hideously sloshed

 

Libra (Sep 24 - Oct 23)

 

                Busy ‘til the 21^st

                And homely after that

                Mercury in your third house will have you questioning

                But from the 27^th, Mars will swiftly answer that

 

Scorpio (Oct 24 - Nov 22)

 

                December is a money month,

                Expect some on the 12^th

                Your pleasure sector’s buzzing

                But next month you might die

 

Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22)

 

                This month, Sagittarius

                Is pretty much Aquarius

                So read whatever it was I wrote

                In Aquarius’s stars

                I think I said you’re likely

                To get run down by a car

 

Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 20)

 

                Capricorn, you’ll get the horn,

                Up ‘til the 18^th

                The transitting of Venus

                Plays havoc with your penis

                But keep it in your jeans