We know you want Jeremy Corbyn

but we don’t give a shit,

you must have one of us instead

so we’ve chosen Owen Smith.

 

We acted unconstitutionally

but that don’t really matter

as we care not for democracy

and we’re learning all the patter,

using double-speak in the press

because they’re all on our side.

The Tories don’t want Corbyn,

in fact, they’re terrified.

He’s a threat to inequality,

a threat to them big banks,

a threat to our tax havens

coming up through the ranks.

 

We don’t like this new membership

that grew and grew and grew,

you plebs are having too much say

and that will never do.

Forced to have him on the ballot

so we’ve had to rig the vote,

we’re excluding you new members,

excuse us while we gloat.

We’ve also tried to price you out,

we hope it’s not in vain. 

You really must support us now

on this great gravy train.

Jeremy is unelectable,

we know that’s just a myth

but if we say it oft enough,

you might vote our man, Smith.

 

How many you say have signed up?

How many have paid the price?

What do you mean, we could still lose?

I think we need new dice!!