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THE MONSTER GNASH

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(Something for Hallowe'en.  Thought I'd posted this previously but it must have been on FB)

 

He was playing in defence in a World Cup game

When he suddenly said, “What in Heaven’s name!”

The pain he felt made his blood run colder

He saw he was missing a chunk of his shoulder

It was The Gnash

It was The Monster Gnash

There was a clash

And he was rather rash

A dental slash

And Uruguayan gash

It was The Gnash

It was The Suarez Gnash.

 

Now no-one would say he was a bit of a patsy

He’d kicked and been kicked by Marco Materazzi

He’s no glasshouse flower but when it comes to the boot

He don’t bring the game into disrepute

With his teeth

It was Suarez’s teeth

That’s his beef

And sincere belief

He could stand

A brute or a thief

But it’s girls

Not men use their teeth.

 

I’ve seen in my my time the odd hard guy

Like Norman and Chopper and Dave Mackay

Players who’d break up your counter attack

And into the bargain give you a good whack

They tackled right

And would never bite

You’d never cite

Them as whiter than white

And though they might

Cause a ruck or a fight

They’d never bite

The Uruguayan Bite.

 

I’ve seen a film about Jaws the Shark

And Dracula who appears after dark

And Iron Mike Tyson saying, “What’s this ear?”

But now we’ve another snapper to fear

Cos it’s The Gnash

The Monster Gnash

It’s not a kick

Or a thump or a bash

But a slash

He was quick as a flash

With his Gnash

It was The Suarez Gnash.

◄ Our Gert She's Not a Drinker

LITTLE BASTARDS ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sun 2nd Nov 2014 21:02

...and other jokes in a similar vein, Harry!

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 2nd Nov 2014 14:21

John! John!,
Just because the guy was feeling a bit peckish!

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John Coopey

Fri 31st Oct 2014 12:50

You're right MC. Competitively I played more rugby than football. Then you got or gave an honest thump.

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John Coopey

Fri 31st Oct 2014 12:48

Yes, Graham, you need to be of a certain age to remember our glory. But that photo of Mackay holding a squealing Bremner by the shirt lapels -priceless.

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M.C. Newberry

Fri 31st Oct 2014 11:10

Monster fun!!
In my young days it was fighting and hitting
Nowadays, it's biting and spitting...
And both lots hoped they wouldn't get caught
In what we watchers thought was sport!

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Graham Sherwood

Fri 31st Oct 2014 09:26

This has a certain bite to it JC
Good to see you got a real player's name in there too!

ps My Grandson has for some un-beknowing reason started supporting THFC.

I overheard him telling his cousin "Spurs have got a fantastic past"

Oh dear!

Happy Halloween JC

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