I told you

 

I told you
In 1982
Deacdes ago now 
But you'd have none of it
When I said I knew what Eartha meant
When she growled
Hissed
Purred
"I Love men
I love men
I love men"

Didn't you think it was strange
That I enthused so much over Dynasty?
And Joan Collins
In all her finery
Strutting around like the cat 
Who'd clearly got the cream
Stiletto heels leaving a bloody trail
Of the remains 
Of her every unfortunate enemy

How could you not have guessed
Or worked out what was going on
In my head
When you found sticky copies of Zipper
And Him Monthly
Stashed carefully
Beneath the framework of our bed?

Did you never suspect
There was anything more
When I sat for hours
And I'd tastefully draw
Madonna's Monroe-esque image
From the cover sleeve (her best look yet by the way)
of Madonna -the First Album
Monochrome
Sexed-up
And extremely...extremely gay

My library clues should have given you more clues
Gigantic black and white affairs
Glossy pics
Sepia hues
Of female stars
Past and present day
Like Dietrich
Davies
Or Faye Dunaway

The movies I collected
Would have told an alert person something more
My fascination with "The Road To" series
Starring the delectable
The delicious
Dorothy Lamour
Others included "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane","Rebecca" and "All About Eve"
I'd get all giddy and salivate
The moment I saw the sleeve

Now I'm not that much of a  dickhead
As to say
You have to like all the above
In order to be gay
But I'm an advocate of the right to be free
To not be held back
To be happy

The last thing you said to me was how much of a freak I was
Yet you knew all along
In front of the neighbours
In front of all the street
And as I looked at your lips
I stopped hearing
But knew sadly
That you were unleashing
Three decades worth of anger upon me

You know what?
I don't care
I needed to be me
And it feels so fucking good, at last, to be free.

 

 

Cake Mix ►

Comments

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keith jeffries

Thu 12th Oct 2017 05:59

Jon, everything you write resonates with me. I read your poems over and over again. There is an affinity. Keep in touch matey and please write more. Keith

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Pauliegreg

Sun 21st Sep 2014 21:32

Love this poem, was great when you performed it too :)

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