Touch and Go

entry picture

For my daughter Rebecca.

 

There are moments in life

Which imprint

On heart and mind

And soul.

Many years ago now

I remember

My moment well.

Mothers Day, and I

Was alone.

Marriage gone. Children gone.

I stood

Gazing through misted windows

Grey street, grey skies

Leaden heart,

And round the corner came

A little grey 2cv

Chugging its nine hour journey

Up the motorway

From Winchester to Wigan

Like a homing pigeon

She came.

My golden haired daughter

To touch base

With love.

A few hours we had together

Daughter and I

Before she left

Back into mainstream

University life.

I watched her leave

And through the window

I saw

The sky was bright.

 

Touch and Go

◄ The Last Song

Unwanted ►

Comments

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John Coopey

Sun 24th Nov 2013 18:28

I have a similar but opposite memory of dropping No 2 daughter off at University.
We lugged all her stuff up 3 flights of stairs while she nattered to the other freshers in the communal kitchen.
We'd done everything we needed after about 2 hours (unpacked, positioned furniture, hung pictures etc) and I was ready to come home.
Our Gert on the other hand continued to fuss and do stuff for another 2 hours - she couldn't bring herself to leave!
Now they've both left home to live with boyfriends. We had to buy them a house apiece but it was worth it.

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Dave Bradley

Fri 22nd Nov 2013 00:33

Only just found this (busy week). Wow. So powerful. The poem makes much of the 2CV but you're right - it wouldn't have been quite the same in another car. Totally endorse the others' comments.

<Deleted User> (10832)

Wed 20th Nov 2013 13:31

Your very lucky to have a daughter. No son would do owt like that - theyd just come and borrow some money then bugger of, which would make the street a lot greyer.

I don't do criticising but I think this would have been nice with some rhyme in it. Theres a rhyming dictionary on google if you find that hard.

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Starfish

Wed 20th Nov 2013 08:00

Brilliant! Brought a lump to my throat. Who can't empathise with this?

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Harry O'Neill

Wed 20th Nov 2013 00:07


Cate,
The comments of `ache` and `humanity` and `emotion` say it all.

Shame about the lateness, A genuine heartfelt
one beats the humour every time.

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Andy N

Tue 19th Nov 2013 12:35

beauitful, cat. it aches this piece. really does.

i totally forgot about the comp. maybe in future ones i will try, but this was worth posting even without entering the comp.

good stuff

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M.C. Newberry

Mon 18th Nov 2013 13:46

The humanity in this shines like a welcoming lamp.
Touching - about going!

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Francine

Mon 18th Nov 2013 13:24

This is lovely, Cate, and well worth the wait! The emotions can be felt through the gazing out, the 2cv and how it can represent time and journey moving a bit more slowly than we'd like at times.

(The only thing I would change are the capital letters where they don't belong - to give it more of a visual and reading flow)

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Isobel

Mon 18th Nov 2013 13:12

Oh what a shame it was late Cate, it would have been good to have a serious poem in the competition. Having said that, I don't suppose it matters in the grand scheme of things. These little comps we run now and again are great in the fact that they inspire people to write - poems and thoughts that wouldn't otherwise have seen the light of day. Whether or not they hit a deadline is only important if you want to get behind the spirit of the competition or want to win.

I like the way you have experimented in this one - going right out of your comfort zone to free verse. It's very hard to tell a story in a poetic way, but I think you manage well.

For me, this poem isn't so much about the language as its humanity - and the way you have so beautifully exemplified the title. Although your poem is about filial/maternal love, we really do all have the capacity to make each others lives so much better - just by knowing how to support each other, in what at times can be a very grey life.




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Cate Greenlees

Mon 18th Nov 2013 12:48

Sos its late Dave, but I thought while Id actually made the effort, Id post it anyway!!

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