The Naming of the Parts
(An examination of the skills a 21st century man needs. No wonder Henry Reed stuck to his guns! I carry this map around with me in case).
Yesterday we had woodwork and metalwork and D-I-Y.
Today we have naming of the parts.
Yesterday we had the Allen Key
– a purpose-designed, entry spanner
which is now called the Hexagonal Wrench.
Today we have the labia majora and the labia minora.
So it’s curtains for the Allen Key.
Yesterday we had motor vehicle maintenance
of the Vauxhall Victor, Viva or Volvo.
Today we have the vulva
which also requires dutiful care and maintenance.
Yesterday we had the tenon saw and hacksaw,
the bow saw and the coping saw,
whose blade was easily broken
but can be repaired or replaced.
Today we have the hymen which cannot.
Yesterday we had the Biffin Bridge
what was of use in memorably cushioning hanging encumbrances.
Today we have the perineum which is also memorable
and which we have all got.
Yesterday we had the bit and brace
– a tool requiring skill in equal measure
of circular motion and gentle pressure.
Today we have the clitoris,
which in Fatima’s case she has not got.
Yesterday we had the mythical long-stand
of acquaintance to both master-craftsman and apprentice
and which many said did not exist.
Today we have the G-spot.
Yesterday we had joinery and tiling,
putting up shelves, repairing cars,
gardening and mending washing machines.
Today we have the naming of the parts.