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Santa's feeling grotto right now

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Santa’s feeling grotto right now.

been hit by the credit crunch,

his little helpers were put on shorter hours.

Santa has got this ‘ere contract,

where he’s down to make 20% of all toys.

Santa’s clause in this binding agreement states

he is responsible for awarding and overseeing

the sub-contraction the remaining 80%.

Contracts were awarded to China, Taiwan

and Traditional Toys from Llantrisant in Wales.

Subcontractors have been forced to cut back production,

after running into financial difficulties,  

some manufacturers are closing down.

Traditional Toys, the pride of Wales, did its best.

Santa’s couldn’t get the books to balance,

magic of creative accounting using pixie dust

could not mask the shortfall.

Santa had to rely on stockpiled toys

from a Birmingham Warehouse to ensure no child went short.



His worldwide monopoly for delivering presents

was under threat after customer feedback forms

gave performance level as ‘fair’ at best.

Down the years contracts had always been automatically renewed

by a little known authority called, ‘T.O.Y.S’ or

the ‘Transport Operational Yuletide Secretariat’.

Santa spies have noticed downturn in Rudolf’s performance,

his red nose was lacklustre, the sleigh often getting lost.

Rudolf became a depressive recluse, not loved by the other Reindeer.   

Expected year on growth didn’t materialise

and after a meeting with Chinese senior contractors. 

Santa had named and shamed one Chinese company

putting three directors on extended gardening leave,

their names; Ho, Ho and Eric.

‘T.O.Y.S’ invited tenders for the delivery contract in 2009.

 They wanted the successful bid to keep Santa’s corporate red,

 have a reliable worldwide delivery network and a Santa look alike.

Enter the favourite, Richard Branson and Virgin.


© Phil Golding 12/08



© Phil Golding 12/08

◄ Future Wishes

I see you, but you’re not there ►


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Philip Golding

Sun 4th Jan 2009 03:54

Sorry about the dodgy typo, Nabila. No offence ment

<Deleted User>

Sun 4th Jan 2009 00:18


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Philip Golding

Sat 3rd Jan 2009 16:27

Nadia and Andy - there were a few extra words in there. Just managed to change Santa's Grotto



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Andy N

Mon 29th Dec 2008 22:39

Hi Phil;

I think Nabila is spot on here, I think this is a really good poem but I think it is possibly a bit long - if I am honest I think with a little bit of editing or cutting, I think you really could have something here. Have you tried reading this out aloud yet out of interest?

<Deleted User>

Mon 29th Dec 2008 09:26

Hi Phil

Ifeelcomfortable commenting honestly on your work and I feel you are one of few who is receptive tohonest feedback and seriously want toknow what ALL your readers think - which is great. When we are honest - we get slaughtered on here so I'm overlooking work on here that needs improving and i shall always comment on yours whether I like it or not. However, if , overnight , you change and decide you want to verbally slaughterme too - do warn me ;)

I love the starting - has a nice ring and the idea is great and appropriate. You really have mastered the punctuation, haven't you?!

The onlything I would like to add is that this is quite wordy and i feel would be moreeffective with big chunks taken out and 'joining' words such as 'and'.

Do critique mine too - u know I welcome it too!

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