When Wally won the wellie wangin’ contest

It’s true that a few eyebrows had been raised

Cos Wally, he was never very sporty

His athletic prowess it was never praised.

And Mrs Simms, her that worked in the chemist

Was suspicious when old Wally had paid up

For twenty bottles of that there lovely Tixxylix

And Benyline, Cornovia and Vapour Rub.

Cos they’d all heard about the doping scandals

And all those performance enhancing drugs

And just cos it was the summer fete at Skinners Bottom

Don’t mean that the judges were all mugs!

So when Wally flung his rubber wellie

And it flew into the sky a thousand feet

They just thought about what’s on the telly

And how those bad guys always tried to cheat!

Well Wally’s medal - it was stripped right off ‘im

And the poor guy he was so pissed off

Cos he really should have won at wellie wanging

But at least he managed to get rid of his cough!!!!!