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Few and Less

 Pedants…

(with no apologies for grammatical errors)

 

Few and less, less and few

Be careful which you choose to use

Two words that seem to be the same

Are not at all, as I’ll explain

Listen up and pay attention

And so avoid bones of contention

If you’re bothered just a tad

Here’s a lesson to be had.

Let’s suppose that we have shoes

(That’s easy as of course we do)

If you have shoes, of which there’s two

And I have shoes the same as you

Your two shoes are pastel blue

My two are a similar hue

..Oops I’ve introduced red herring

It’s not the colour I’m referring

Please ignore the colour blue

It’s nothing at all to do with few.

Let’s return to our two shoes

(Pay no attention to the blue)

Should you chance to lose a shoe

I will have more shoes than you

And yes of course I’m sure you’ll guess

The word to use is few not less!

Those shoes you see, can be counted

And as yours to one amounted

It’s clear as daylight now to you

That in this case the word is few.

So to surmise, it’s correct to say

That you have fewer shoes today.

Now let’s have a look at less

Its usage and abuse address.

Let’s make another supposition

...  you have a messy disposition

(Which of course I do not

Because I clean up quite a lot)

But for this exercise it is true

You make more mess than I tend to

“How come you made this such a mess”

(This time it’s me who has the less)

I guess this mess could be gigantic

But its assessment is semantic

It size can only be assessed

And not in numbers be expressed

So in this case the word is less

“Yes I made a lot less mess”

To say it’s fewer would be daft

And raise a slightly sarcy laugh

From intellectual   teacher types

Who like to have things spanking right.

Now you know, don’t be fanatical

Or pandafy your new grammatical

Ludwig said that less is more

A contradiction that’s for sure

A man of wisdom I would guess

Would not confuse his few with less.

It’s tricky choosing which to use

And often I forget there’s few

I’m slipping up a lot with less

A real bad habit I’ll confess.

But if you’re getting my intention

Though I’ve strayed from the convention

ie, you’re getting what I mean

...More or less and in-between

Fewer, lesser, less or few

FFS right back at you!

pedantfewlessgrammarconfusing

Tangram Crackers ►

Comments

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Harry O'Neill

Sat 8th Sep 2012 14:00

Ah! happy memories about being for or against prescription in the language class.(and the endless arguments about the prefixes`un`...and `dis`)

When this kind of thing gets going it`s unstoppable.

There is an essay by someone (I think Alice Meynell) about the effectiveness of `un` for poetical use.

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Karen Robinson

Sat 8th Sep 2012 13:29

I'm sorry I wasn't tryng to mock anyone wishing to write and speak well,only those who take delight in repeatedly pulling you up on your mistakes. Grammar and vocabulary are not the preserve of the middle and upper classes. In an ideal world no one should define themselves, or be defined by others, simply from the way they write or speak.

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Julian (Admin)

Sat 8th Sep 2012 09:29

Forgive me Karen, I am not suggesting that you said working class are thick. What I am referring to is that tension between wanting to improve yourself - improve your education, so forth - and fitting into the milieu from which you came. As an example, I am from Oldham and grew up not <talkin' proper when I were wi' me mates>, but speaking correctly when I was at home, so as not to be pulled up by my mum.
I have a reasonable vocabulary, acquired through study and reading. When I am with my old pals from Oldham I feel an unspoken pressure to talk in a restricted vocabulary. If I use a word outside their quotidian register I risk comments about being pretentious. But just because I am working class does not mean I cannot use the vocabulary I have a acquired, I suppose.

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Karen Robinson

Fri 7th Sep 2012 18:24

You are quite right Julian. I have been expecting someone to pull me up on the point that I have used "few" when I am really referring to "fewer". I wrote this poem as a joke and the joke's on me. I've learned a lot from "pedants" and although I say I don't claim to be grammatically correct, that doesn't mean I don't care about it. I try my best with what I know.

I don't understand your last sentence. Who says working class equals thick?

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Julian (Admin)

Fri 7th Sep 2012 15:42

Accepting that language is changing is different from not caring about grammatical accuracy in writing and speech. The changing attitudes to grammatical accuracy should worry those of us interested in writing, colloquial or otherwise.

Karen had an excellent idea, of writing a poem about the differences between two words increasingly mistaken one for the other; but I suspect that the two words you meant were <less> and <fewer>: less traffic versus fewer cars, for instance. So, sadly, it doesn't actually do what you intended. There must be quite a few folk who confuse amount and number; more seem to misuse the word <majority> which, like <fewer>, is for countable objects therefore should not be used, as it so frequently is these days even by BBC journos, in phrases like <the majority of the earth's atmosphere>, rather than, say, <most of>.
And then there is this epidemic of replacing the word <who> with <that> when referring to people. For example, in phrases like <footballers that earn high wages> rather than <who earn...>
Then there is <different to>. <Different from> is different from <different to>. You look different to me means: to me, you look different (you've had your hair cut perhaps). You look different from me means we do not look alike. Pedantic? Or simply wanting to write well?
Accuracy is important and makes for clearer sense and meaning, thus better writing. And it is not being snobbish. Just 'cos I'm working class doesn't mean I 'ave to pretend I am thick.

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Karen Robinson

Fri 7th Sep 2012 11:37

I'd say it was about semantics more than grammar. I write in a very colloquial style and I'd never claim to be grammatically correct! I realise now my punctuation isn't right. Thanks for reading it though John.

I have posted the audio to The Dentist on the blog, if that's what you are referring to.

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John Coopey

Thu 6th Sep 2012 21:50

Just found this after reading "The Dentist". Another entertaining poem. I assume you hadn't got the mp3 audio running at this stage.
I think it's quite brave of you to post something on a grammatical theme. Imagine the proof-reading Lynne Truss must have done looking for punctuation howlers before she let "Eats Shoots and Leaves" go to press.

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Karen Robinson

Wed 6th Jun 2012 17:08

Thank you Isobel.

I didn't realise there was a differnce but there is forum I use where it is an in joke. I penned this in response to being pulled up on it.

I better take a look at amount and number!

Thanks for the welcome.

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Isobel

Wed 6th Jun 2012 00:10

I've never pondered upon the difference between less and few before,but maybe I should have - if you'll forgive that sentence structure :)

Something I do notice, is the way people constantly confuse 'amount' with 'number'. Perhaps it's time to pull our fingers out of the damn and just accept that language is changing.

An amusing read. Welcome to WOL Karen.



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