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our bench

entry picture

 

We used to sit on this bench

waiting for the sun to set

into the sea

like a big red boiled sweet.

 

It changed its shape,

looked like an onion or a pear

slipping so quickly underneath

the waves.

 

The sky stayed blue

so long -

we waited to spot a planet

appearing like the first note in a peal of bells.

The night sky was our dark symphony.

 

I remember one day

a woman came walking up the track,

told us that her son in law had died

in the cottage on the cliff.

 

“There’s a lot of sadness

in that house” she said, pointing.

I looked

but felt immune

little knowing…….

 

I sat on our bench this morning

hoping for a star.

 

 

 

 

 

◄ tent

Waiting for Maxim . . . ►

Comments

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Robert Mann

Mon 30th Apr 2012 15:14

Beautifully written. Conjures up images of perfect sunsets tinged with the sadness of awaiting a loved one's return.

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Nick Coleman

Mon 16th Apr 2012 10:25

Beautiful, and moving, esp last two lines. A lovely piece well constructed.

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steve pottinger

Mon 16th Apr 2012 09:22

Yep. That line about the first note in a peal of bells is an absolute belter. A lovely poem - thank you, Ann.

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Yvonne Brunton

Sun 15th Apr 2012 20:28

Wow! The last two lines are a killer - still got tears in my eyes. You Have beautifully encapsulated the moods in such well turned phrases. Wonderful! XX

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Harry O'Neill

Sun 15th Apr 2012 17:22


Anne,
Agree with all (particularly the accurately observed changing shape of the setting moon, and particularly the way you`ve ended it with the `little knowing...and the - sad? - `hoping for a star`)
Relieved to see you back.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sun 15th Apr 2012 15:49

The mythical 'morning star of hope' perhaps? You have an 'essence' that captures the heart in your choice of particular situations to explore profound ideas, together with your searching imagination and its imagery. This is really, really good.

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Julian (Admin)

Sun 15th Apr 2012 10:34

I love that: < Like the first note in a peal of bells> Beautiful, truly poetic in its expressive essence, managing to describe the magnificence of the night sky in so few words.

You transported me to my wild camping days on that coast, the greatest delight being those last moments of the sun heralding your 'peal of bells'.

Return of the mojo? I hope so, especially on this evidence, Ann.

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John Aikman

Sun 15th Apr 2012 00:13

Utterly lovely.

Jx

PS You made me cry....happy now?

(I would be)

: )

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Lynn Dye

Sat 14th Apr 2012 22:31

Brilliant, so moving and says so much. Well done, Ann. xx

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winston plowes

Sat 14th Apr 2012 21:13

This is superb Ann. A poem to be proud of. Win x

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Tom Harding

Sat 14th Apr 2012 20:54

lovely poem ann.

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 14th Apr 2012 19:29

This is quite lovely Ann. I signed in to read your revised poem and saw this. Perfect! I think you've come a long way.

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