He was planning to go with his mates to the fair
With the money he’d saved from his newspaper rounds.
He’d promised Leanne that he’d lend her a fiver
She’d promised to sneak out a six-pack of cider.
But crossing the road on the way to the grounds
She got killed by a hit-and-run driver.

He was planning to bike round the Cape of Good Hope
With the money he’d made from a day at the races.
The websites applauded its rugged terrain
And reviewers confirmed they would visit again.
It seemed like the most inspirational of places,
But that’s when the heart attack came.

He was planning to drive through the tunnel to France
With inheritance gained when his mum passed away.
He’d booked a hotel with his wife in the centre
Of Paris; they’d sleep in a velvet four-poster!
But less than a fortnight before the big day
She began showing signs of dementia.

He was planning to walk to the pub for a drink
They were seeing in Christmas with free mince pies!
A twilight moment of joy at last?
With desolate feelings he thought of the past,
And, sighing the sigh of the wordly-wise
He decided he couldn’t be arsed.