Grey

Hello and welcome to my new poetry blog, some of you who know me may be surprised by my writing and those who don't know me at all I hope you enjoy it.

Quite an old one this but as this is my first entry I thought I would start as I mean to go on.

 

Grey

 

As the grey old man slips his niche

He discovers the heavenly pleasures of the world

Also he finds that dogs on the leash 

Have the freedom of none

 

He finds a planet of mystery

With mysteries now unfurled

But where art thou friend

Of beauteous love

She is cold, gone

Perhaps

To a better place

 

He realises loneliness as never before

The grey old man 

Lies hopelessly down

Hopelessly down in the snow

deathgreylonelinesslovesnow

Extraction ►

Comments

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Matt Tilke

Mon 29th Oct 2012 11:46

Thanks Tony, very much appreciated

tony sheridan

Wed 26th Sep 2012 21:33

I like this. Nice one!! Take care, Tony.

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Matt Tilke

Mon 12th Dec 2011 13:11

Thanks Graham

Actually the 2 buts were an error, the first one wasn't supposed to be there so yes totally agree with you on that one, I have now edited. I quite like the use of hopelessly twice though as I feel the last line is more of a repitition of the previous. Constructive criticism always welcome though so thanks for your honesty.

Matt

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Graham Sherwood

Tue 29th Nov 2011 20:36

I liked the idea of this Matt. It would be improved (IMO) by not repeating the "but" and the "hopelessly".
Well done. Graham

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Matt Tilke

Tue 29th Nov 2011 12:20

Thanks Winston

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Winston (Admin)

Mon 28th Nov 2011 20:08

Hi again, Slips his niche, liked that

Winston

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