Extraction

Hello and welcome to my second blog. I have a new poem for you this time which was inspired by something I saw on my way home from work recently. Winter nights bring much inspiration when the SAD let's up.

 

Exctraction

 

Silver coils glisten against blackened winter night

Penetrating granite fortress walls

A juxtaposition of time and craft

Sparkling with the intensity of a thousand stars

Out of place and beautiful

 

Interweaving metallic snakes of steel

Reaming ancient stones, a happy medium

As the stars shine on

So many wishes

Some granted

 

Far away I wonder

Through rippled shine and blackest skies

Through galaxies with open eyes

I wonder

 

In awe that such simplicity

Can be seen in such normality

As to be beautiful

As to be noticed

Only by some

 

We are the lucky ones

MetalNightShineSpaceWinter

◄ Grey

An Ode To Skyrim ►

Comments

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Matt Tilke

Tue 13th Dec 2011 20:46

Thanks for the comments Ray, I know what you mean and will take it on board, I try to write as I would imagine saying the words which is why I think sometimes it doesn't quite look as you would expect written down.

Also a hint is in the title but i'm not going to give it away quite yet.

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Ray Miller

Mon 12th Dec 2011 19:37

Hello Matt. I've read this a few times and I'm still not sure what it's about, not that that's all important. There's some nice lines - I like "out of place and beautiful" - but I think it's suffering from a desire to be poetic in a few places.
Do you need to say that night is "blackened"? granite and fortress? metallic and steel?

In awe that such simplicity

Can be seen in such normality

As to be beautiful

As to be noticed

Only by some

I like the ending except I'd do away with the 2nd "such" and finish the poem at "As to be noticed".




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