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You know you’ll pay top dollar The truth is plain to see

The clue is in the spelling of “F-A-Y-R-E”.


Cos whether “fayre” at Christmas Or whether “fayre” for crafts

They’ll try to charge you prices You’d otherwise think daft.


It started with my flapjack A favourite of mine

That with a cup of Breakfast Tea Cost £8.99.


But I am no slow learner And only buy what’s cheap

It’s said that I have got short arms And pockets that are deep.


So when my daughter eyed up rings On jewellery stalls I said,

“You’ll get some off your mother - Just wait until she’s dead”.


One stall sold hand-crafted soap At £15 a pack

But what’s the point when all I do Is shove it up my crack.


Some tables set out greetings cards - All glitter, bells and frills

But I shall not be buying them When e-mail’s cheaper still?


Another offered fairy lights Designed for Christmas cheer

But I buy mine at knock-down price By waiting till New Year.


And likewise Christmas puddings Costing a few quid;

I also wait till January - For presents for the kids.


You might think I’m just a Scrooge But all I’ll say’s “Beware!”

Never trust a market that Calls itself a “FAYRE”.




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John Coopey

Thu 7th Dec 2023 23:46

Thankyou, MC and Stephen A. “Sunny and generous disposition”!!?? MC. Bah humbug! And you’re quite right about the saving you would have made on a wreath which would never arrive, Stephen. That’s the kind of accounting that made us in the coal industry profitable for so many years.
And thanks for the Likes, JG, Redbrick and Tim.

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Stephen Atkinson

Thu 7th Dec 2023 18:33

Yes, John, my wife got fleeced last year buying a gingerbread man (& house) wreath for a door we didn't have...🤨 £25! I checked ebay the same one was £6.99. OK it may never have turned up, but I'd still be £18.01p up! Not fayre!
Good one 👍

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M.C. Newberry

Thu 7th Dec 2023 17:55

Some fun here, but not, I like to think, totally in keeping with the
author's sunny and generous disposition! 😏

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John Coopey

Wed 6th Dec 2023 10:09

Poundland is an excellent source of Christmas presents, Stephen. Better still, we have a 99p Store in Donny..
It will provide quite a little cache, Graham, when she shakes her six. As for me? The kids can expect an inheritance of a few thousand of my unsold poetry books.

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 6th Dec 2023 09:15

So when my daughter eyed up rings On jewellery stalls I said,

“You’ll get some off your mother - Just wait until she’s dead”.

I nearly choked on my tea with this JC.
Very accurately observed sir!

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 6th Dec 2023 08:25

It's all in a good cause, John - somebody's good cause, anyway.
Good point though, I'll do a runner next time I see that word. Are Poundshops any good for Xmas gear?

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John Coopey

Wed 6th Dec 2023 07:56

As it happens, Ghost, we were all set to go one year and it got cancelled. (Because of the weather, I seem to think).
And thanks for the Like, Holden.

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Reggie's Ghost

Tue 5th Dec 2023 22:46

You should move to Lincoln John, they cancelled their Christmas Fayre because it was too successful! I kid you not.

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