Who said drainage was boring?

mains and laterals neatly planned
herringbone pattern or even fanned

salt-glazed carriers carrying shit
simple land drains topped with grit

clay tiles in the farmer’s soil
sometimes flexi wavy coil

porous concrete or perforated
the flow of water calculated

twin wall pipes, long radius bends
junctions, our useful friends

rodding eyes, a socket plug
open drains, just shallow dug

bottle gulleys, gulley traps
elbows, saddles, neat end caps

grids and grating, vermin gates
silt traps, attenuation crates

hollow tining, vertidraining
french drains, useful when it’s raining

mole drains, compact soil fork-tined
sewers, culverts, some combined

slot drain channels, thin sand slitting
drains with silt continually sticking

trapped gulleys, recessed covers too
systems tricky to construe

inspection chambers, concrete rings
catchments catching natural springs

yard gulleys, soakaways, reducers
manholes, the sinister seducers

field drains, clay tiles, rigid plastic… 
drainage for the enthusiastic

◄ My Un-favourite Things


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Stephen Gospage

Thu 27th Jan 2022 17:09

This is so wonderfully original. Exhilerating in its vocabulary.
Thanks so much, JR.

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John Coopey

Wed 26th Jan 2022 12:12

Fabulous stuff, JR. And so much more welcome than the dispiriting navel-gazing which so many seem to think passes for poetry.

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J R Harris

Tue 25th Jan 2022 15:16

Thanks for you comments. As a landscape designer I often worked on large land drainage schemes, which I found fascinating. As others in my team shuddered at the though of being given drainage projects, I relished them. Many people can't get their heads around huge amounts of money spent on systems that are hidden away underground!!!

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Greg Freeman

Mon 24th Jan 2022 23:53

Not me. Not after reading this.

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Stephen Atkinson

Mon 24th Jan 2022 22:21

Definitely not a drain on poetry. Grate stuff! 👍

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keith jeffries

Mon 24th Jan 2022 18:53

A plumbers lament or as we belong to the same generation, is it that we are often sidetracked in the U bend. I enjoyed this enormously. It must have taken some imagination. Wigan came to mind as two dear friends come from there, one a poet and the other a lifelong friend. I don't know why I mention either of these two as there is no connection to plumbing, except for one who had some unmentionable operation to alter one of his internal tracts. He's on the mend and back to the Guinness.
This poem has a rich vocabulary. Such a use of words as I could not emulate.
Thank you for this

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