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For 5 long years I’ve lived beside

These other senile twits

In this home for retirees,

Old biddies and Old Gits.


To offer some excitement

I read my poems out loud

And started to attract

An appreciative crowd.


40 perhaps or 50

attentively sat round

Hanging on my every word

Like I was Ezra Pound.


I read to them my comic verse

(I pride myself on wit)

With tragedies and histories

And monologues a hit.


The time flew by unnoticed

Marking passing hours

My audience unnoticed too,

Wilting like dead flowers.


As evening loomed I looked around

To see the crowd had gone

Apart from two old diehards -

Gloria and John.


Since they were enthusiasts

I kept on with my rhymes

Until the Night Nurse joined us,

Announcing our bedtime.


My illusions shattered instantly

As they were led away

I realised with horror

Just why they chose to stay;


It seemed they weren’t so fond of verse,

Hanging on my breath

But Gloria has got no legs

And John’s completely deaf.




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John Coopey

Mon 6th Dec 2021 21:48

I've messaged you back, Kevin to say I'm happy to stand in. I shall set rigorous standards of quality, of course, which means you'll be on your arse all night!
Thankyou, Julie. I'm sure you read them every bit as well as you write them.
And thanks for the Like, Branwell

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julie callaghan

Mon 6th Dec 2021 20:15

Made me laugh. I don’t read mine out. I use an app to read them aloud. At least then my husband is only ignoring the app, not me. ?

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kJ Walker

Mon 6th Dec 2021 17:09

I've messaged you on this site.re well spoken.
Basically I've been asked to host it again, and I'm trying to bodyswerve the honours onto you.
If you aren't up for it I'm only too willing to do it myself, but I think that the good people of Doncaster deserve better.

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John Coopey

Mon 6th Dec 2021 16:45

Couldn’t find anything on Well Spoken page, Kevin. Send bitcoin instead.
I am looking forward to having the excuse to be irascible, Graham.
And thanks for the Like, Brenda.

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Graham Sherwood

Mon 6th Dec 2021 16:32

All hail the Care Home Comic Poet JC!
I hope it's a few years off yet

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kJ Walker

Mon 6th Dec 2021 14:52

Very good.
Hope to hear this in person this week.
Ps. I have sent you message re well spoken.
Cheers Kevin

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John Coopey

Mon 6th Dec 2021 09:10

Thankyou, Holden and John.
I think we poet-y type people sometimes underestimate our value. We could offer a useful service on the NHS for insomniacs.

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John Botterill

Mon 6th Dec 2021 09:04

Hilarious John. Reminds me of reading poetry to my family who start talking to each other half way through.
A vision of our future! Loved the poem if not the vision.
John Botterill

Holden Moncrieff

Mon 6th Dec 2021 00:25

Very clever and entertaining, John! ?

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John Coopey

Mon 6th Dec 2021 00:11

Thanks for the comments, Pete, Stephen A, Stephen G and Clyde. You can bet some bugger with nothing better to do will be offended!
And thanks for the Like, Aisha.

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Stephen Atkinson

Sun 5th Dec 2021 22:49


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clyde McCulley

Sun 5th Dec 2021 21:56

Fun John, and damn true for us old coggers!

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Stephen Gospage

Sun 5th Dec 2021 21:46

Nice rythmic one, John. I can almost hear the joint jumping. There are probably worse reasons for hanging around to listen to poetry. It certainly beats wall-to-wall Jeremy Kyle (or Vine).

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Pete (edbreathe)

Sun 5th Dec 2021 21:11

Great, very un PC

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