I never cried

 

I persevered often in the darkest rooms of despair

Alone I drew upon an unknown resilience of strength

Determined to overcome and survive against all odds

Yet the abyss crept into view as a temptress of seduction

I sat without emotion on the edge of emptiness

In a sea of misery I fell forward into the chasm

Which waited like an open grave to engulf me

Consumed with self loathing and pity

I clutched to what I could not see wondering why

A randon branch, a jagged rock held me in abeyance

What was I struggling for, where was there any hope

Was I a coward afraid to die, to admit defeat

Perhaps I held on for the reason of simple endurance

During a few dark times I fell and caught myself

My eyes were bloodshot, my face sunken and gaunt

I wretched violently but nothing came

I wanted to expel the bile which polluted me

I was the victim of self inflicted hate aroused by others

Unable to communicate I called out in prayer

I contemplated suicide, a headlong dash or a few pills

to a waitng grave in a place where there is no return

I never cried