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Isn’t that the Freerider Kensington she’s riding?

Huh huh

With Captain’s seat and pneumatic tyres?

Huh huh

By the way, where’d ya buy it?

I saw it stood in EdenCare

It had pizzaz, it had the flair

I thought “That’s mine.  I’m Leader of the Pack”.


My knees were always letting me down (down down down)

I struggled hard to walk around town;

I couldn’t tackle modest hills

They hurt me queueing at the tills

But now no longer – I’m Leader of the Pack.


My bonnets stencilled “Born to be Wild”

I make pedestrians rattled and riled

They hear me coming with my hooter

They say “Here’s that crazy biddy on her scooter”

I don’t give a bugger – I’m Leader of the Pack.


I love its extra power

It does 8 miles an hour

Hell’s Angels shrink and cower

Pussycats!  Pussycats! Pussycats!


We form a line as we head to town

The Three Degrees of Selby renown

There’s me, Fat Pat and Sweaty Madge

Using her dead husband’s old Blue Badge

But I take the breach – I’m Leader of the Pack.


My battery lasts for 45 miles

I take up all of Morrison’s aisles

And when it beeps “Rawhide” in reverse

Shoppers jump and swear and curse

I tell ‘em to shift – I’m Leader of the Pack.


And when at last from pain I am free

I want my chariot buried with me

I want to feel its presence near

An Old Aged Pensioned Boadicea

Let them remember the Leader of the Pack.




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John Coopey

Thu 13th May 2021 08:26

Thanks Ray. As ever, I stand in the vanguard against ableist poetry.

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Wed 12th May 2021 22:28

Wheelchair friendly poetry - an absolute must John. As always you leave your indelible mark on the more popular tunes in the same way as Spike Jones in his day!


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John Coopey

Wed 12th May 2021 19:00

Too right, Stephen. As I approach my 70’s I find myself playing more fast and loose with my own safety.
And thanks for the Like, Stephen A.

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Stephen Gospage

Wed 12th May 2021 17:39

Terrific. The frightening thought is that such people might upgrade to Clarkson-approved Teslas. 0 to 60 in......

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John Coopey

Wed 12th May 2021 16:49

Thanks, MC. My mother-in-law is about to get one and it was this that inspired me. I believe the pic is from a Julie Walters sketch.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 12th May 2021 15:08

Great fun. Love the picture too! I've always been wary of those
motorised Boadiceas seated in their pavement hot-rods, eyes
gleaming as if daring anyone not to step aside!

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John Coopey

Wed 12th May 2021 00:03

Thankyou, Philipos. And thanks for the Like, Holden Nazia, Aviva, Kevin and Greg.


Tue 11th May 2021 23:01

Very amusing - enjoyed.P 👍

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