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I’ve planted spuds; I’ve planted peas;

I’ve scrabbled round on hands and knees;

I’ve sprayed against a plague of bugs

But seen them eaten up by slugs;

The seeds had cost me seven quid

Which from the wife I kept well hid;

I’ve had to chuck them in the bin

(At Tesco’s they’re ten pence a tin!)


In light of this my bets I’ve hedged

And gave up cultivating veg;

I sent for plug plants by mail order

To brighten up herbaceous borders;

Phlox and stocks and columbine

Phormiums and cordyline.


I fed the soil and tilled the land

Then left them to God’s gentle hands;

He gave them sun; he gave them rain –

I’m at a loss – I can’t explain,

It made no difference what he tried

These fuckers too just upped and died.


He gave to me this gift instead-

A dandelion and nettle bed.




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John Coopey

Tue 11th May 2021 12:24

Thanks, Kevin. That car must have thought you were reading one of your poems!
And thanks for the Like, Leon.

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kJ Walker

Tue 11th May 2021 07:44

As you may have noticed from my lack of activity on here, I haven't written owt new for a while. So I will be boring the good folks at Well spoken with more repeats of the usual stuff.
Still I can't wait. On line isn't the same.

Did you know that someone has driven their car through the window of the Doncaster Brewery and Tap.

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John Coopey

Mon 10th May 2021 19:08

And rabbits, Stephen. And thanks for the Like, Kevin. Shouldn’t be too long before we’re boring them to death at WellSpoken again.

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Stephen Gospage

Mon 10th May 2021 17:54

Never mind, John. Dandelions and nettles are all the rage among Green party voters

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John Coopey

Mon 10th May 2021 14:27

Thanks for the Likes, Greg, Aviva, Holden, Nazia, Stephanie and Julie.

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