(I have, rather belatedly, come to understand why people are stockpiling toilet rolls)

 

My Sweet Hoard

Ooh-ooh My Hoard

My bog roll hoard

At home is stored

I’m happy that I’ve bought ya

I got more than I oughta

In Tesco’s it was slaughter

But I nabbed all I could afford.

 

My Sweet Hoard

My bog roll hoard

We scratched and clawed

I took my sword

But now in isolation

I can without cessation

Indulge my masturbation

That proves my thinking wasn’t flawed.

 

My Sweet Hoard

Ooh-ooh My Hoard

My bog roll hoard

At home is stored.