A BLOWJOB A DAY
I think it’s remarkable false hygiene goals
Have prompted the hoarding of stores’ toilet rolls;
In Morrison’s, Boots and in Asda the shelves
Are empty as numpties bulk buy for themselves;
Despite the advice of the experts, the dumb
Believe that the virus will egress your bum.
But Brexit has shown how misinformation
Gets swallowed wholesale by a gullible nation.
And so I will post on my Facebook’s News Feed
Fake news of my own; the message will read,
Advice the world over is ‘Doctors will say,
“A blowjob a day keeps the virus away”’.