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Stacy Eskin

Updated: Mon, 21 Oct 2019 12:11 am

eskinstacy@gmail.com

eskinstacy@gmail.com

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Biography

Hi everyone!! my name is Stacy and i'm very excited for y'all to become knowledgeable or more knowledgeable on the subject of Addiction and Recovery as well as mental illness. There's a lot of people who aren't educated on the subject and choose to talk about it just because they can. There is a huge epidemic out there right now and it's important to understand the feelings behind addiction from start to finish. These addicts are not just some junkies in the street, they are someones daughter,son, mother, father, sister, brother, girlfriend, boyfriend, friend or coworker and these people are human beings who just became so lost that they couldn't find their way out. Don't judge people that you don't know, don't even judge people that you know for that matter just because you disagree with their lifestyle because you have no idea what happened to the point that these people thought drugs and alcohol was their only solution. Addiction does not start with drugs, addiction starts from trauma and please remember that. As for the ones who did come out of the darkness and chose recovery they are some of the most strongest, happy and courageous people i have ever met. Please if you can't help them, pray for them and before you judge addiction, understand it. My name is Stacy and i am a recovering addict and my final sobriety date being 100 % off all mood and mind altering substances is July 15, 2019. Drugs were never my problem, it was the solution.

The Darkness Part 1

Tossing and turning, thinking this will never end, deep down i know it will, I just have to thank god that i don't wish i was dead. Getting off drugs is very hard during the detox process, there is nothing to disregard. Your body is changing, your mind is a mess but the way i look at it, id'e rather go through it then turn out like the rest. Releasing the toxins, clearing your mind all i can think about is the end result of the day i can say "I feel fine." Relapse is not an option , it never should of been I'm just waiting for the day that i can finally get out of this bed God, i'm begging you to please help me see the ending light All i know is that i'm not willing to give up this fight Once and for all i need this to stop, the shaking is bad, cravings are insane One thing i know is that i'm strong enough to handle this pain. I never wanted to be sober but i also never wanted to die, this needs to stop I need to find the strength in finding the good in goodbye.

The end to a new Beginning

How did i end up here , i do not know Thinking about everything i did wrong and just saying SO, am i always going to be alone? Life is a mystery, you never really know Be strong enough to handle whats coming down the road. How can i live without drugs, I never did before I need to change my thinking and just close that unwanted door. This is my last chance, I cant give up, Please allow me to see everything this world has to offer me. I want to be high, i want to ignore, My mom said if i do i will be out the door. I still didn't wana stop and honestly i didn't but that day did come when i just wanted to be different.

Chronic pain

With all this pain i feel and the muscles i have lost It going to be very hard staying sober but i have to do it at all costs. This is the first time in awhile, i don't know how i'm going to deal All i can do is smile and i need to remember how i feel. I might bitch and complain but when i pray to god He does understand my pain He says i'll be ok, it's ok to cry with each and every breath i take He says "my child, you are strong enough not to die" Now my eyes are open , my eyes are willing to see, to take this one day at a time And see what other people can teach me I can't do this my way, iv'e tried many times before, but this time is different I am closing that past door..

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Blog entries by Stacy Eskin

Final Call (08/11/2019)

Was i even important (27/10/2019)

Broken promises (27/10/2019)

Thank You (21/10/2019)

Let go (21/10/2019)

Lost (21/10/2019)

Blog link: https://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/stacyeskin

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