Pepped up with pills and various potions

Zimmer frame ready to help forward motion

Wired for sound and to aid dicky ticker

Capsules to slow it - or make it go quicker

Now where's my bifocals to help me to see

- and all this just so I can go for a wee.

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CITIZEN’S LAMENT

Oh to be in prison now that April’s here.

The council tax is rising

And they’ve upped the price of beer!

The kids want pocket money

The wife wants – well, don’t ask!

When all I want’s a simple fag

And ale straight from the cask.

Oh to be in prison now that April’s gone.

There’s nowt good on the telly

And they’ve built a bigger...

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Four days after I wrote this, the following article appeared in the Daily Telegraph:-‘A train company blamed “the wrong sort of passenger” for the problems some had in reaching London for the celebrations.’

The Wrong Sort of Train

We’re sorry the trains are not running you know

Tomorrow we hope they’ll be fine

But nature has dealt us a sad autumn blow

There...

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