I got out of my chair again
and headed for the door.
Then the alarm sounded -
Jelly babies? Three or four?

Maybe I’ll lie down just here
And stay on the floor awhile.
Watch my numbers turn to red,
My face a sugarless smile.

I sometimes wonder should I stop
Saving myself from me?
And now, I’m feeling better,
I’ll go and make some tea.

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The fluff and the dust in my pocket. 
A receipt for coffee for two. 
I don't remember buying. 

A memory that's been 
Folded so many times. 
The creases have become part of it.

Tobacco crumbs and filters.
The white lid of an orange bottle,
Carelessly forgotten. 

A coin that I keep. 
The one that you gave me. 
The one I never spend. 

A half-smoked stale spliff. 
Saved for anothe...

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Smiled at your smile,
And returned affection.

Words said
we can't unsay.

Lived things
we can't undo.

Loved.
So easy.

Stayed when rough.
Is that love?

I signed up
and you did too.

Less years of youth -
more years of age.

Yet all unnoticed -
Apparently.

In all we held and shared
We've loved each other.

Bloody hell.

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My browser, it is throbbing -
and I'm not on Pornhub.
My internet disconnected -
And my poetry's a snub.

Or something like that.
It's somewhere over there.
No, wait. No wait.
That's just my chair.

I'm looking for a reason.
A reason is something.
A reason, just a reason,
A good reason for me to SING!

Pride comes before a fall,
or so I thought it said.
I thought my thought was cl...

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When I was young I measured myself
By the weight of approval.
Every success carried home. 
"Not bad," and silence.
"You could do more."

I thought you knew so little then.
I wore certainty like armour,
Convinced that I had all the answers,
Experience simply opinions.
And the years passed quietly.

One evening standing as you had stood.
Laughing at the same foolish things.
Familiar ph...

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How loud is this House.
Tempers frayed, we hurl
Accusations like stones.

Doors slammed hard
slam open again
Before there is silence.

Inside, my voice is small. 
We are still bound together 
Even though we disagree.

Then these late nights,
unrepentantly drunken,
revisiting the same mistakes.

A grey dawn comes gently.
Tea steams in the kitchen,
and no one speaks of war.

Stil...

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If you wake me in the morning,
Bring me tea and scrambled eggs.
But if I’ve bloodshot eyes,
And I can’t move my legs, 
I’ve likely a thick head.
So it’s better to let me lie.

If the car won’t start, it’ll be ok.
I’ll call it a sign and then, instead
I’ll go inside and hang up the keys.
I’ll get undressed and lie back down.
I’ll set an alarm and pretend
It’s actually Sunday instead. 

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Iron. Wrapped in iron.
You greet me like I forgot.
Whispered. I still smile, shy,
Words tumbling like they are forgotten.

Layer upon layer I hammered,
Hardened by what came before.
But you spoke as if the iron
Was all I never was. 
 

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We walked the lane in summer sun -
Burning our arms and faces.
Our backs soaked in sweat.
The tree’s shadows our only friend.

She turned to face me,
Her wavy brown hair,
Lifted in a sudden breeze -
Suspended on invisible wire.

The fields of ripened wheat,
Moving in concert with the wind.
Rippling away, these graceful dancers,
Bowing to the horizon.

I remember little of that day,
...

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When I think of you, I think of smiles,
your tender, apologetic ways —
never wanting to offend.

In an armchair for my weary frame,
your little head upon my shoulder,
softly lulling me into sleep.

I see only the caring animal lover,
the girl who sees only friends
in the living world around her.

The girl who feels she can never fit in.
Lighting up every room she enters
With a quiet ...

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The Christmas storm has passed.
A tinsel and wrapping paper flurry.
Decorations. Presents. Chocolate. 
For families and children.

Dec 29th. A workday.
Calm and quiet.
Cleaning up the year behind us. 
Planning for the one to come.

Soon, we’ll party again.
Friends buoyed by optimism.
Food and alcohol over flowing,
Regrets renamed resolutions.

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Before she died,
In a drunken state,
She reached out to me.

If I were older then,
I would have said:
I cannot help you.

You can only help yourself.
Get sober.
Forget your father.

Instead, I baulked.
I fled.
I ran from the phone.

“We were lovers, but
You are my friend.”
Fearful intimacy
That alcohol brings,
Inhibition shredded
And blown away.

Instead, I stand
In a fores...

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I reworked this one, I bugged.me!

-----

We could be like cats,
In the heat,
sprawled beneath the apple tree.

We greet each other 
with headbutts and kisses - 
more than ritual, more than play.

Sitting, staring, across the room,
blinking fellowship.
content just to be still.

Jumping upon the bed
curling into the crook of your knees
purring gently.

Weaving around your ankle...

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It's
over.
A new year 
out of darknes.
A brand new job awaits -
frustration shed at last.
Challenges, so fresh and exciting!
Bright mornings offering me promise
and a calm in my chest I can trust.

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I’m a child.
You are too.
Drift away,
Lost love, too.

Trembling strings,
Low and clear.
Hold me close and
Kiss me, dear.

With this ring,
Sadness near.
Notes are falling —
Do you hear?

Death unwinds,
So drink not fear.
Chord to chord —
Should you hear?

Weary soul,
Lead me down.
Soft guitar,
The final sound.

I can bleed,
I can cry.
I can scream—
We all will die.

A...

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Cat One sat proud on the table.
Cat Two lay sprawled on the floor.
Cat Three looked round, sensing trouble, 
Before sprinting straight out the door. 

Cat Two yawned widely and rolled on his back.
Cat One shifted before jumping down.
He strolled to Two, raised up a paw -
Whacking off his crown.

Cat Two was having none of this
And bit One hard on the neck,
He hooked his paws and rolled...

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A child on the shore,
Building sandcastles galore,
Innocence abounds.

A vivid display,
So much pride clearly shining -
Sea shells everywhere.

Engineering art,
Streams of water run through sand,
Castles come alive.

A drunken debut -
He kisses her by the sea,
Sand clings to his toes.

Education done,
Life’s journey just begun-
Sea spray in his face.

A knee in the sand,
A new...

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This old table.
It’s been at the centre.
Something we started with.
Bought as a second - 
Scratches to repair. 
But still solid. 

Food prepared,
Meals shared.
Cats on corners,
Curious; watching.
Laughter over it;
Tempers lost to it.

Shoes cleaned,
Travels planned.
Cards dealt,
Grief softened.
Games played;
Wins shared.

This table at the centre,
Darkened oak from age and we...

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My heavy head is drunk again.
My lines unclear like this.
Caught between this terrible beauty
And my fearful abyss.

The thin, blue line of my cigarette
Spills verse with trembling hands.
The flicked grey ash tumbles out 
Thoughts on an empty page.

I write inside a drunken arc,
Each sip a skipped regret.
I chase each line through static fog, 
That drinks itself again.

I write and ...

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Daylight.
4am.
Skylight.
Sweat.

Brittle birdsong.
Troublesome sunlight.
Early morning
Talking loudly.

Over thinking, 
Over dreaming,
Weary contemplation,
My twisting daze.

Daylight. 
4am.
Skylight.
Sleep.
 

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Night through the skylight -
Summer wraps around my toes.
Cool refreshing breeze.

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It’s really very warm today - 
Global warming, gone astray.
While I listen, children play.
Sitting in the shade.

In walking down familiar paths,
Elder, nettles, blackberry craft
A green seclusion and gentle draft
To keep the blaze at bay.

They sunbathe in the local park,
Lotioned skin that gleams so stark,
Without a solitary remark
On this unusual day.

Every day she walks her dog...

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In day, I stop and meet you here.
We greet, we bow, with careful cheer,
Observe the forms; a sharp veneer - 
As we should. 

I look at you and know I must 
Hide the longing and the lust.
I dare not touch, nor even reach,
Just close my eyes. 

At night, you'll bid me come to you -
For secret is the softest pain. 
Our bodies lock, our passions burn,
Until we are spent.

Then at dawn, ...

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We walked past that inflatable lady,
Launching herself into the water,
Paddling hard to move along.
The wind so strong she blew away.

We walked by the mandarin, 
Forbears escaped from captivity,
Likely imported from China. 
Swimming free amongst the natives.

We walked on. Past
Joggers in the sun.
Headphones on tight,
Plastic smiles pasted on their faces. 

Cyclists streamed past u...

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I am a troll.

I’d just thought I’d let you know
That your carefully thought out opinion is invalid.
That you are an idiot. Gullible.
Being taken in.
I don’t want to have an open exchange of views -
I’m just here to wind you up
And fill the void of my being.
Prey on your weakness, poke fun at your vanity;
Steal the strings that keep you together -
Hoping that they can somehow stitch me ...

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Beer. Chat.
Beer, chat, beer.
Chat, beer, nom, nom, chat. Beer.
Beer.
Beer.
Oh god, I need a cigarette. I remember those.
A night cap.
A long short wobbly walk home.
Whiskey. TV. Beer.
Chair asleep.
Bed.

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They blamed my job; my drunken nights.
"Type 2. Sobriety. Exercise. Diet."
The thirst cut sharp, and weight fell fast.
The pills did little. Relief didn’t last.

Behind my frame, the truth came clear:
Type 1 — but late. A childhood fear
Reached full bloom beyond all guess,
Auto-hidden. Not immune, nonetheless.

I dose. I count. I chase the flame.
I raise a glass — again, again!
There’s...

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I scare.
Easily, I scare.
when you breathe. I scare
when you look at me and I am speechless.
I scare with each heartbeat.

I scare
Uneasily. I scare
from my vulnerability. I scare
with this family we created; this fragility; I scare
With this unconditional love.

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I'm glad my fart.
Made you laugh.
Because that just made me smile.

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Why is it that you cannot get out of bed?
I look at your eyes and see
That you are lost in your sleepy head.
It's breakfast time and I know that
I'll have to chase you down the stairs again.

Then you hug me.

Hurry, hurry! Late again!
You have your pants around your ankles;
Your nose buried deep in a book.
Blankly, you blink at me as I cry out!
You leap to your feet and

Then you hu...

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I hear the pat of a falling drop
On the skylight above my bed.
Sleep won't come early tonight.
The sound repeats and I dread
That drumming keeping me awake.

I lie awake in torrent
Churning the day gone past.
Hoping my woes and my anxieties
Will drown in the self pity that is -
The pounding of the rain.

Fatigued. My weary body
Throws up an umbrella up to stop
Further thought from hi...

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Scurrying like rats in the sewers,
Swiftly hiding from the flashlight.

Tree-climbing tailess monkeys,
Grinning mischievously down at you.

An orchestra of laughing, screaming, crying, playing,
With a mad conductor presiding over them.

A football, a skate board, a stone, a stick, a leaf.
Digging in dirt or becoming superheroes.

Ignoring pleas for calm and quiet;
Unwilling to tidy, c...

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What's this, under the stairs?
Oh! It's a bag of "things"
Been left from when you
Cleaned the car out.
Six months ago.
Shall we look and see what treasures it holds?
A single black sock with a giraffe on it.
A shiny chocolate wrapper.
Year old shopping recipts and half a dozen car park tickets;
Are these the missing work expenses?
A pen; it's leaked; staining the bag
and a leaflet for t...

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