PARTIES AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE
When I was in my teens we'd drink ourselves silly
throw up outside, have a good fight
go back in and chat up a bird
maybe get lucky and take her upstairs
then go back down and dance till we dropped.
These days what constitutes a party apparently
is supermarket sandwiches and cans of pop
Thursday 23rd March 2023 7:55 am
Just heard Herman's Hermits on the radio
'I'm Into Something Good'
Of course he wasn't really called Herman
and they weren't hermits
but that's not the point
the name was sort of catchy,
they were popular and had a few hits
Wonder what they look like now?
A sad bunch of old gits
but at least they tasted success
before they called it quits
I wasn't too bothered...
Tuesday 21st March 2023 7:44 am
Reminiscing about The Beano
Regretting its demise
I mentioned Dennis the Menace and Walter the Softie.
My mate said he liked his dog G'nasher.
I said "what do you mean G'nasher...it's Gnasher
The G is silent as in gnat"
But he insisted it was G'nasher.
We argued about it but couldn't agree
So I asked a passing boy the name of Dennis the Menace's dog.
He said G'nash...
Wednesday 15th March 2023 4:09 pm
Let's Go Boldly
Rishi - forget about cosying up to the EU on the Northern Ireland Protocol, where's Captain James T Kirk when you need him? There's a risk taker if ever I saw one. He won't pussyfoot around with endless meetings and parliamentary sessions.
He'll disregard received wisdom based on pure logic from Spock. You'll never get your own Starship that way Spocky! Perhaps you should pin back your lughol...
Wednesday 1st March 2023 7:35 am
At Kempsey Ford
Sitting by Kempsey ford.
Out on a bike ride, taking a break.
It's peaceful here with the church behind me.
The congregation have prayed and left.
The sun is shining, the birds are singing
I feel very relaxed
A lady in a wheelchair is being pushed over the little bridge.
I say good morning, they don't reply.
What is wrong with people?
Sunday 19th February 2023 11:51 am
Columbo was on the box
when the ambulance arrived
and blue-lighted them to The Royal.
She struggled for breath.
The doctors did their best
but there was never really much hope.
They said their goodbyes at the hospital bed.
He walked away clutching a pink slip
that proved she was dead.
He went home on the bus
understandably feeling grief
but also with...
Sunday 14th August 2022 11:26 pm
My first job after leaving school was in a food laboratory. A colleague, a few years older than me, was frustrated at his lack of promotion due to not having the necessary qualifications. So he decided to leave and operate his own paraffin delivery round. Someone said "Aren't you taking a a bit of a chance John?" "No" he replied "people will always need paraffin"
Thursday 26th May 2022 10:05 pm
Crack of dawn Sunday mornings
my brother and I would accompany our dad
pushing a home-made wheelbarrow
to a horses field a mile away
to 'steal' horse manure
which I imagine the horse's owner
in retrospect was glad to see the back of.
I have lived with this crime on my conscience for sixty years and am relieved to have finally come clean.
Sunday 22nd May 2022 11:49 pm
Has the motor car gone as far as it can go?
Has the freeway had its day?
Forget Route 66.
Why not get your kicks going uptown
on the uptown train?
Sunday 1st May 2022 10:15 pm
In Trondheim, backpacking, nearly fifty years ago.
With nowhere to stay we headed to the docks
to sleep in a box.
Actually a large wooden crate
which wasn't great, but suitably impressed Joe and Doc
the New Yorkers we met the following day.
They were keen to experience it
so we spent a second cold, uncomfortable night in our crate.
They had their own, complete with stars an...
Wednesday 9th March 2022 11:27 pm
Loss of a Laptop
The unfortunate loss of a laptop
is bound to cause some tension
particularly when your missus says
you can pay for it out of your pension
and you respond with a couple of words
that I wouldn't care to mention
Saturday 19th February 2022 9:33 pm
SICK OF IT
I'm not sick with Covid.
I haven't had it
but I've had it up to here
with all the so-called experts
I'm sick of it.
Tuesday 14th December 2021 3:22 pm
along Poland's border.
Another new crisis dawns.
Barbed wire and troops
using migrants as human pawns.
Trapped in the zone
light years from home
people dying of cold.
Away from the lights
Ukraine in her sights
we're seeing the Russia of old.
Monday 15th November 2021 11:08 pm
FOR THE BIRDS
If I had wings I'd fly
but I don't, so I walk
I walk around
and whilst walking around I think
I think about things
things like wingspans and thermals
and my complete lack of wings
Thursday 16th September 2021 9:15 pm
The note she left said
'Love you, see you friday'
But for Barbara friday never came
And for me fridays will never be the same again
Wednesday 1st September 2021 11:13 pm
Kate Lockridge on In the Midst of Dying
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Graham Sherwood on IT'S MY PARTY AND I'LL LIE IF I WANT TO
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Reggie's Ghost on PARTIES AIN'T WHAT THEY USED TO BE
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Jack Roberts on Train Ride
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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on Screwed!
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Jack Roberts on Nothing
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Uilleam Ó Ceallaigh on Spoken breath
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