When I was in my teens we'd drink ourselves silly

throw up outside, have a good fight

go back in and chat up a bird

maybe get lucky and take her upstairs

then go back down and dance till we dropped.

These days what constitutes a party apparently

is supermarket sandwiches and cans of pop

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Just heard Herman's Hermits on the radio

'I'm Into Something Good' 

Of course he wasn't really called Herman 

and they weren't hermits

but that's not the point

the name was sort of catchy,

they were popular and had a few hits

Wonder what they look like now?

A sad bunch of old gits

but at least they tasted success

before they called it quits

I wasn't too bothered

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Reminiscing about The Beano

Regretting its demise

I mentioned Dennis the Menace and Walter the Softie.

My mate said he liked his dog G'nasher.

I said "what do you mean G'nasher...it's Gnasher

The G is silent as in gnat"

But he insisted it was G'nasher.

We argued about it but couldn't agree

So I asked a passing boy the name of Dennis the Menace's dog.

He said G'nash...

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Rishi - forget about cosying up to the EU on the Northern Ireland Protocol, where's Captain James T Kirk when you need him? There's a risk taker if ever I saw one. He won't pussyfoot around  with endless meetings and parliamentary sessions.

He'll disregard received  wisdom based on pure logic from Spock. You'll never get your own Starship that way Spocky! Perhaps you should pin back your lughol...

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Sitting by Kempsey ford.

Out on a bike ride, taking a break.

It's peaceful here with the church behind me.

The congregation have prayed and left.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing

I feel very relaxed

A lady in a wheelchair is being pushed over the little bridge.

I say good morning, they don't reply.

What is wrong with people?

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Columbo was on the box

when the ambulance arrived

and blue-lighted them to The Royal.

She struggled for breath.

The doctors did their best

but there was never really much hope.

They said their goodbyes at the hospital bed.

He walked away clutching a pink slip

that proved she was dead.

He went home on the bus

understandably feeling grief

but also with...

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My first job after leaving school was in a food laboratory. A colleague, a few years older than me, was frustrated at his lack of promotion due to not having the necessary qualifications. So he decided to leave and operate his own paraffin delivery round. Someone said "Aren't you taking a a bit of a chance John?"  "No" he replied  "people will always need paraffin"

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Crack of dawn Sunday mornings

my brother and I would accompany our dad

pushing a home-made wheelbarrow

to a horses field a mile away

to 'steal' horse manure

which I imagine the horse's owner

in retrospect was glad to see the back of.

I have lived with this crime on my conscience for sixty years and am relieved to have finally come clean. 

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Has the motor car gone as far as it can go?

Has the freeway had its day?

Forget Route 66.

Why not get your kicks going uptown

on the uptown train?

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In Trondheim, backpacking, nearly fifty years ago.

With nowhere to stay we headed to the docks

to sleep in a box.

Actually a large wooden crate

which wasn't great, but suitably impressed Joe and Doc

the New Yorkers we met the following day.

They were keen to experience it

so we spent a second cold, uncomfortable night in our crate.

They had their own, complete with stars an...

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The unfortunate loss of a laptop

is bound to cause some tension

particularly when your missus says

you can pay for it out of your pension

and you respond with a couple of words

that I wouldn't care to mention

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I'm not sick with Covid.

I haven't had it

but I've had it up to here

with all the so-called experts

disseminating fear.

I'm sick of it.

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Chaotic disorder

along Poland's border.

Another new crisis dawns.

Barbed wire and troops

oppose Belarus

using migrants as human pawns.

Trapped in the zone

light years from home

people dying of cold.

Away from the lights

Ukraine in her sights

we're seeing the Russia of old.

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If I had wings I'd fly

but I don't, so I walk

I walk around

and whilst walking around I think

I think about things

things like wingspans and thermals

and my complete lack of wings

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The note she left said

'Love you, see you friday'

But for Barbara friday never came

And for me fridays will never be the same again

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