Poetry Blog by Nick (2020, anxiety)
on Suicidal OCD. (Sat, 2 Nov 2019 01:09 pm)
A simple note to explain doesn't seem long enough
To bring on one sheet my final feelings and thoughts
Why am I doing this and what lead me here?
It wasn't just one event and the timing wasn't near.
I'd start when I was younger but who can remember that far back?
Unfortunately I do with every panic and anxiety attack.
You'd probably start to see why by the time I finished 10th grade
Sunday 8th November 2020 5:53 am
I'm sorry for inviting myself I just wanted to spend more time with you
And if I'm in your way I'll stand in the corner and wait for you
Now I'm sorry to be a bother but do you think I can have some water
To wash away my insecurities but I know you'll give them back to me
I don't know what you want from me but I just want your company
Find what you're looking for and take it all from me
Wednesday 21st August 2019 1:45 pm
Rip off the band-aid, get it over with
I never thought it would come to this
Clear mind, clear eyes
Walking straight, no more lies
Don't rely on me and I won't let you down
You can't count on me, I'll only let you down
Don't reach out for me, I'll only let you drown
These feelings are getting harder to fight myself
Pulling teeth to admit I need some help
It's cutting deep on the webbings ...
Tuesday 27th November 2018 11:58 pm
Tell me how am I supposed to end this?
This feeling in my stomach, is it endless?
I can't say that any of this makes sense,
but this has got me feeling apprehensive.
In my brain all I get is emotional feedback.
It always makes me take a few steps back.
I don't know what's wrong with my brain.
I can feel the static flow through my veins.
I'm trying to end the ringing in my ear.
A sound lik...
Wednesday 12th September 2018 2:23 pm
When I try to sleep, I remember all my fears,
And every mistake I've made in the past five years.
My heart feels heavy, alone in a crowded room.
Suffocating claustrophobia, will this be over soon?
This is exhausting, trying to win this fight.
Hand over mouth, nothing's felt so right.
I'm running out of breath, I can't make this climb.
Chasing down the clock, seems I'm out of time.
Tuesday 11th September 2018 2:13 pm
I'm lying on the bathroom floor again
Heavy breathing, I got pills in my hand
Shaking and waiting for the sandman
To take me to sleep so you can understand
This is not a claim to fame
Only an attempt for you to remember my name
When you see me in the headlines saying "He wasn't okay"
Oh you miss me now? Ain't that a shame.
I'm not coming back, there is no replay
You can't take ba...
Wednesday 20th June 2018 1:59 pm
Don't call it a comeback
My depressions been here for years
I still smoke myself to sleep
And calm my anxiety with 3 or more beers
It's just goes to show
That I should stay in my lane
I stare at the bottom of an empty bottle
Just to focus on something other than pain
I knew it'd come back
I knew it was too good to be true
Depression isn't a state of mind
It's something that controls you
Friday 2nd March 2018 3:12 pm
Put on my pants
Put on a show
Fake a smile
No one will know
Don't show weakness
Fake my emotions
Bury my anxiety
Just go with the motions
I gotta play fast
Need to sing out of tune
Because don't you know
Punk Rockers Don't Sing The Blues
Friday 2nd February 2018 2:43 pm