To expunge them from my mind

That's the only thing I wish I could do for myself that I feel utterly incapable of doing

I'm at war with my thoughts and memories

Old wounds echoing in the present

Ripping my heart as fresh as it tore years ago

A different face, a different name

An altogether different entity and demeanor

But I can hear the words from your mouth as if he's spoken ...

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This is how messed up it was...

Last night, my husband woke up and was cuddling me, then touching me, then we both were wide awake in intimacy. It was beautiful. It always is.

Then after, the doubt creeped in.

Chris lied. Chris always lied. I would wake up in the middle of the night to him touching himself to pictures on the internet. Once I woke up and he was staring at pictures of a wom...

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I remember the fire in his eyes, burning red and hot like the devil's. Sometimes it was just a flicker, a blink, and a temporary fade when we were out in public. Other times it lit and caught and consumed his entire person and mine as well. I melted under the heat of those flames. It melted my strength, my dignity, everything I stood for. It made me feel weak. It burnt me, enough to carry those sa...

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