What We Do

For Paul

Writers write and painters paint but artists don’t art

and musicians don’t mu. 

Bikers bike and drivers drive, blimps go limp

but coupes don’t coup.

Coiffeurs coif, hairdressers dress hair,

but nail techs don’t nail techs (or perhaps they do).

Fighters fight, professors at times profess

but hatters don’t hat and surgeons don’t surge.

If you w...

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Martin Thinks I’m Catholic
With thanks to Andy N, for suggesting it

My father adored me.  He cuddled me in his arms 
after my birth and said, Doesn’t she look intelligent, love?

My mother believed I wasted that intelligence raising babies. 
I was relieved disappointment had no place in her grateful sigh,
as I arrived at the hospital in time to watch her die.

My brothers consider ...

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Some Advice From Edwina Currie, Former MP

Don’t give thanks
for local food banks
they encourage
the feckless
the greedy
the emotionally needy
the reckless
the addicts
the idle-by-habits
the drunkards
the hopeless
the gormless
the homeless
the wasters
the smokers
the cheaters
the faceless
the indigent
the immigrants
the lazy
the crazy
the tattooed dog owners
the debtors
th...

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