Martin Thinks I'm Catholic

Martin Thinks I’m Catholic
With thanks to Andy N, for suggesting it


My father adored me.  He cuddled me in his arms 
after my birth and said, Doesn’t she look intelligent, love?

My mother believed I wasted that intelligence raising babies. 
I was relieved disappointment had no place in her grateful sigh,
as I arrived at the hospital in time to watch her die.

My brothers consider me crazy, but good for a laugh.  
In truth, our parents’ dreadful marriage hurt us all – 
one brother cannot commit; the other over-commits; 
and I should be committed, according to them.

My husband loves that I’m smart; dumb women irritate him -
though he thinks I’m nuts to believe in God.  He says he picked
the best possible mother for his children; but wishes 
I’d dust upon occasion.  He thinks I have perfect breasts 
because more than a handful’s a waste.  
I’m thankful he doesn’t have large hands.

My sons tell me I’m ditzy, call me a wally 
with depressing regularity, lavish kisses and hugs 
upon me, and never forget my birthday.

My friends think I’m flaky: You know you’re weird, right?  
It’s because I eat egg & chips with a particular set of cutlery.  
It’s simple, really: small utensils for small hands.  
What’s weird about that?

Some friends think I’m strange for having a faith 
in the modern age.  One laughs indulgently at my airhead ways.  
Another is astonished that my appetite is double hers, 
when my weight is half.  One believes I’m too submissive;
another that I’m too feisty.  None believe I’m shy.

But the oddest thing of all – the vibe I must be sending out –
the air I fear I must emit that makes me odder than I believe 
I do appear, is that Martin thinks I’m Catholic. 

Will you consider me peculiar if I confess that every time 
I think of it, in my head it’s in italics?

Martin thinks I’m Catholic; I prefer, ‘eccentric’.

AutobiographyPoemStockport WOL

◄ I Looked At Evil

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John F Keane

Sun 22nd Oct 2017 20:02

Well, I thought you were a lapsed Catholic...

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Linda Cosgriff

Wed 21st Jun 2017 15:53

Thanks, Harry!

No quotes, because my boys never do forget my birthday. It's why I let them visit ?

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Harry O'Neill

Thu 15th Jun 2017 16:19

You can`t seem much odder than that Linda (I should know...I am one)...eccentricity doesn`t even get anywhere near to describing the oddness of it

I like the self awareness of the wit in this...particularly the size of the hands....It would be a humdinger to perform!

(about sons...should the `never forget my birthday` be in quotes?) ?

Lovely poem.

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Linda Cosgriff

Thu 15th Jun 2017 11:59


I find it amusing that I am rarely seen as I see myself, even though I am always myself, whoever I'm with.

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M.C. Newberry

Wed 14th Jun 2017 22:52

A stimulating essay in introspection, enjoyable in its
contradictory commentary on how we see - and are seen -
in this lfe.

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